2.08.2009

Best Night Ever: Childbirth Class

Ok, so I signed up for a $250 8-week (2.5 hrs/week) childbirth class. It's on the "Bradley Method" which is what I wanted to learn. As you might imagine, Luke was less than thrilled about this. It didn't help that his dad, brother and brother-in-law all told him how big of a waste of time it would be. Luke said he'd go with "an open mind," but I started to get pre-birthing class jitters. Here is a list of things that happened tonight...

1. Luke almost got in a fight. Within 10 minutes of getting there we were told we had parked in a bad spot, so luke went to move the truck. There was a "friendly neighbor" outside sitting in his truck with the window rolled down and the engine on. As Luke got closer to our truck the guy says: THIS IS A FIRE LANE! (luke nods). then, YOU CAN'T PARK HERE (luke continues walking towards his truck). Then, SO MOVE YOUR TRUCK! This time luke (still walking towards our truck) says, THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING!!! As soon as luke got to our truck the guy said, "PRICK" and Luke turned around to ask him to repeat himself, but the guy did not repeat himself.
2. We had to practice pregnancy exercises, including kegals, squats, and an all-fours yoga type move. Husbands also had to practice, and for this reason alone, I regret not having my camera.
3. We watched a birth simulation video that referred to the husband as the "lover." I cannot be sure, but I bet this is not what I'll be calling luke while I'm in labor. The video also suggested that in early labor a woman might appreciate her husband whispering sweet nothings in her ear, or perhaps singing. No thank you.
4. We learned about guided imagery as a form of relaxation. Then the gals had to lay on the floor while the husband led them through guided imagery. The teacher suggested we use a waterfall theme. So luke started singing "Don't go chasing waterfalls" and then we started laughing & could not regain our composure. I do not think the teacher was impressed. She was probably thinking: "Now THAT couple is going to end up with an epidural for sure!"
5. During the explanation of perineum massage Luke whispered, "What is a perineum" and I had to whisper back, "I'll tell you later"

In all honesty it was a good class. We did learn a lot, and even though there were things that made us giggle like immature school kids in a sex ed class, I'm sure we'll make it through the next 7 weeks...

4 comments:

Patty & Jack said...

I'm going to have TLC stuck in my head all night!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my sweetheart - you made my day!! Love ya, Mom

Aunt Nancy said...

OMG....did you ever bring back memories of my lamaze classes from back in the 80's. Back then they preached natural (read no, nada, zip drugs) was the only way a caring Mom would ever give birth. My advice to you, my dear, ask for drugs early, often, and consistently. Love ya!

April said...

Christian and I were that same immature couple 7 years ago! We had a mom and daughter "team" next to us that . . . totally farted in the middle of practicing the positions. We were crying we were laughing so hard. Go for the epidural baby! Oh yea, the sweet nothings are IMMENSELY HELPFUL as you are feeling the "RING OF FIRE!" heheeee