Why My Baby Names are TOP SECRET

We have taken some serious heat from friends & family because we are not finding out the sex of our baby & we're not sharing our baby names (which we have not totally finalized anyhow). But folks, here is EXACTLY why we're not telling our names...

1. A few months back I was liking the name Auxley for a little boy. Yeah, it's unusual. Fine. But I have this mental image of a little brick of a boy with a spunky personality that we would affectionately call "Aux." My mom was bugging me for names so I told her that was one we considered but decided against. Her reaction (in a tone somewhere between a snort a screech and a scoff): WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU NAME A BABY THAT?
2. Recently while in Phoenix visiting my sis (and new mommy to Savannah) Katie, she was pushing for name details. I conceded & told her that a name I liked but luke did not like (meaning it is out of the running) for a girl was Bess. We were eating pizza and she snorted so loud that I think she actually inhaled some pepperoni. Then she said, gasping, "would you call her...BESSIE?" With a grim and straight face I answered YES, THAT WAS THE IDEA. She choked some more. Then later she pointed out that Bessie is the name of the FAT girl in Nancy Drew. After that she wisely quit asking for name ideas.
2b. While I'm ratting out Katie, I will also tell you that she recently texted me to tell me she had a dream about my baby. It was bad news, she said. The baby was: a) a boy, b) ugly, and c) retarded. I'm not kidding you. That was her dream.
3. At my grandma's birthday the subject of names came up again. Here's the email I got from my mom the next day:
Hey Mitch -
Last night you said something about liking the name "Grace" for a girl, but that was the O'Brien's dog. Well, I got to thinking, what about "Hope" for a girl and "Dierk" (rimes with jerk), okay maybe not. Or maybe "Derek"? Anyway, I really like Hope, but it isn't my call. Love you.

Now, here's the thing. I did NOT say we were considering the name Grace (my mom must have misheard me) but let's just pretend for a moment that Grace was my super favorite name, and my mom's reaction is to remind me that her neighbor's DOG is named Grace??? Also MOM, do you know what I think about when I think of the name DIERK? I think of Dirk Diggler, the porn star from the movie Boogie Nights. So there.

Sigh. Scorn me once, shame on YOU. Scorn me twice, shame on ME. Scorn me thrice, and that's it! NO MORE NAME HINTS TO ANYONE. EVER. I MAY NOT EVEN ANNOUNCE THE BABY'S NAME AT BIRTH.

PS- I'm not really offended by mom or katie's reactions :) I do think it made for a good blog though, don't ya think?


Jessica said...

I do remember asking you for names and if you knew what you were having. It was only because I am REALLY excited, and I had no clue that you wanted to be surprised. So if I was annoying you guys by playing 20 questions. If it were me I would want to know the sex right away, but that's just me. Some of the names you mentioned did sound nice, but then again I've always liked unique names. I hope that you don't think I am sucking up to you or anything, but you look beautiful in the recent pictures you posted. You just have that special glow about you. I was out shopping today, and I picked up a couple items for your baby.I hope that you will like them. Anyway I need to get going but will talk to you soon. Take care for now, and give Patty a hug for me when you see her next. I plan to send her a card soon.

I'm going to be a Ropp! said...

For the record, it was actually me who like the name Grace, and I'll call her Gracie. My little girl will be called that, so mom, bite me! =D

Patty & Jack said...

Don't name your baby something ugly!!! You are not a celebrity therefore your child will just be teased in school not adored by all.

Aunt Nancy said...

This reminded me of when I was pregnant with Jessica and Meme (Grandad's mom) wanted me to name her "Yotona"...it's a Cherokee name from back in her family somewhere and she thought it was beautiful...I just, um, yeah, we'll consider it. Oh, and let's see, Jessica wanted to name Brianna Ruby Begonia. And, for my unsolicited advice...I like both Grace and Hope. Also, if she hasn't told you already, ask Aunt Laurie about the dream she had about naming your baby. We're thinking of you and loving that little grand niece/nephew already!

April said...

Laughed out loud at this Michelle! You are so funny! When we mistakenly told a few people that we had chosen Graham as a name for our first, we heard this, "OHHHH, is that a FAMILY name?" (i.e., because that's hideous and no one would willingly choose that name unless they had to!) Yea, best left to keep the names to yourself. Although, with this latest, my Dad suggested we should name "HER" April Lynn (my friggin' name and my Mom's middle) WTF?????????????