Confessions of a Mother

I am not being self deprecating for the sake of humor. I mean I do that sometimes...but these are truths...
1. Last week it was so stinking hot that Jo got a little heat rash. So I stopped bothering with clothes (for her...not me) and she lived a few days in just her diaper. At one point I had to pick up a few things at Walmart...and realized as I was walking in that I was walking into Walmart on 82nd with a baby in just her diaper. Now it was a very posh and environmentally friendly G-diaper...but it was still pretty white trash.
2. My daughter is stunning [and I, humble]. I want to be clear that I think she is beautiful and perfect and precious. BUT she has very hairy ears. On the furry scale they fall somewhere between elf and e-wok. I keep threatening to wax it, but none of the boxes of wax say "safe for infants 1-3 months."
3. Luke & I are still working out the kinks of balancing marriage+parenting+sanity. Some days are better than others. Last Sunday we went on our FIRST FAMILY PICNIC. I had visions of lounging in the sun on a blanket over plush grass and reflecting lovingly on each other & our dear baby. I should know by now that in cases of marriage, parenting, and sanity, expectations typically lead to disappointment. Here's how it went down:
a. Michelle: Let's go on a family picnic. Luke: ok. Michelle: let's just go get starbucks for breakfast & not bother packing anything. Luke: ok.
b. By the time we were ready, the baby was packed up, and we were in the car, Luke & I were arguing about something. Nothing major, but both of us were grumpy.
c. We get to the park, Westmoreland, which has a huge duck pond. I bring out the blanket & start looking for a place to set up. Luke informs me he hates sitting on the ground & prefers a picnic bench. this annoys me to no end. So there we are on a "picnic," sitting at a picnic table with our baby still in her carseat on the table. We eat our starbucks breakfast sandwich in 10 minutes. Luke is ready to go. This is too short to qualify as a real picnic, and definitely not worth all the effort it took to get us there. I guilt him into going for a "stroll around the park."
d. Since there is a duck pond at the park, there are TONS of ducks & geese. Which means you cannot walk two steps w/o stepping in duck doo. This doesn't make for a very enjoyable walk.
e. We finally threw in the towel and got back in the car to go home. We both felt relieved that our "picnic" was over. This is how we camp too. We feel like we SHOULD enjoy it...but who are we kidding. Maybe we're just not the picnic and camping types. I have come to grips with this reality.
4. Last week I made a deposit at the bank and walked away without my atm card. Luckily banks anticipate the brainlessness of new mom's, so they devised a way for the atm to suck the card back in if you don't grab it right away. Thanks, bank. Unfortunately since I wasn't TOTALLY sure that is where the card was left I had it cancelled to be safe.
5. The next day I elected to sleep after the 5:30 feeding instead of going for a run. When I woke up I felt unsettled and crabby for not having worked out. So to make up for it I decided Rucker & Jo & I would walk the running route, and get breakfast at new seasons, coffee at starbucks, and stop by the park to let rucker fetch for a while. Again, this is not entirely something I WANTED to do, but I really felt like I SHOULD. So we walk 2 miles to New Seasons. The dog, baby & stroller are kinda tough to maneuver on narrow sidewalks, so I was in need of some breakfast & a break by the time we got to New Seasons. I get some cheesy breadsticks and some garlic-dill cheese curds, and get in line. I swipe my other bank card, and get REJECTED. The clerk kindly tries again. No luck. I was so embarrassed! I had to leave the food there- and the cheese sticks I had taken out of the bread bin so I bet they had to throw them out. So embarrassing. I kept thinking, I SWEAR there is money in our account!!?!! Turns out the bank cancelled ALL cards tied to my account. UGH. So I had to walk 2 miles back home with no coffee and no breakfast. I was soooo grumpy. Grrr.


Patty & Jack said...

This is why I'm happy with just a dog and cat. Your life doesn't sound that fun right now.

Anonymous said...

The silver lining to this disaster, is that Rucker had a good walk and that you burned off about 500 calories with the walk and all that pend up frustration and anger. mom