Tub Terd Protocol?

For the SECOND time in the last seven days I've had the pleasure of hand fishing poo out of my daughter's bath. GROSS. I'm not sure what protocol is...but I'm pretty sure we didn't follow it...
1. Spot 2 terds.
2. Yell HEELLLPPPP at husband.
3. Open toilet, move towels, set aside magazine for "catching" expedition.
4. In this amount of time baby has poo'd again and Luke is still nowhere to be found.
5. Pick up baby who is chewing on husband's toothbrush (well...that will teach him)
6. rinse her rear in fresh water
7. set her on the floor, husband arrives to see her chewing on a toothbrush that has recently been in a tub of terds
8. remove poo by hand, gag, & flush
9. drain tub
10. husband shows up to show me the new toothbrush he's gotten out of our stockpile (since looking for new dental care device trumps helping wife with child or terd removal)
11. Ask (in a VERY annoyed voice), "Will you get me the pinesol???"
12. Hand scrape skid marks on tub as it continues to drain
13. husband shows up and tucks the pinesol spray bottle into my waistband, which is funny to him and not to me
14. pinesol the heck out of the tub
15. rinse & repeat. Tired of watching, husband has abandoned us to resume his spot on the couch.
16. wash hands with lots and lots of soap.
17. recover baby who is now wet and crawling around in the kitchen, still toting the toothbrush
18. finally confiscate toothbrush & toss. as expected, baby begins to WAIL.
19. re-fill tub & re-insert baby.


Patty & Jack said...

OMG!! I'm so not ready for motherhood!

Kristen said...

we've had so many of these nights...x2 children in the tub...always ruby pooping though.

Kate said...

Oh my - we definitely have our fair share of poo moments too. Love the way Luke helps!

Tasha said...

We've NEVER had tub turds. We have had tub puke though. I made hubby clean it. Hee hee.

Dottie said...

Ohhh you made my night...HILARIOUS!

Tera said...

I love that you got five comments in under an hour....and it was because of poop! yuck, yuck. And we have never had poo in the tub, you are my hero.