3.28.2011

"TERRY"

Meet "Terry." Terry is a special needs kinda guy who lives next door to us. He has a heart of gold, patience akin to Jo's, and ideas that exhaust me. Once a month when I head to Winco (dread) I take him with me so he can do his grocery shopping. Terry+cars do not mix, so he bums a ride. Here are some of my favorite stories about Terry...

1. Terry's bday is in June. Which means he starts scheming b-day plans in July. It isn't about him or gifts- it is all about the party, the number of guests, food, and entertainment. He likes to host it in his driveway, he likes there to be a big fat cake, he likes everyone in his world to attend, and he really worries about the prep. He sometimes tries to buy party food in May. He usually has some makeshift tarping/tents erected (in case of rain) about 4 days in advance. Two days ago he asked if I could help him rent a power washer so he can wash the mud off the driveway, 3 months prior to the party. While en route to the store I decided it was time to let him know I was pregnant. Here's how it went down:

Me: "Guess what Terry? We're having another baby!"
Terry: "Oh good."
Me: "It's due on August 3rd."
Terry, after a pause: "Oh! Then you'll still be able to come to my party!"

He then proceeded to inform me that this year's entertainment will be bingo. So naturally, I'm in.

2. Terry's got an awesome network of friends & support through his church. Terry doesn't mind asking for help and he doesn't mind offering it either. One of his friends gave him an answering machine, but perhaps didn't fully explain the concept. Here was Terry's message for a good 2 months: "Uh, HELLO? Uh...This is Terry. If you'd like to leave a message, give me a call."

3. Recently Terry's portable phone & answering machine died. I shopped for a new one for him, and a different neighbor helped him hook it up. Terry was thrilled to discover the concept of speaker phone. For 3 or 4 days when I called he'd say, "YEAH???" instead of "Hello" upon answering the phone. I finally asked him why he was answering his phone like that, and he explained that the new phone has this button you push- you don't even gotta pick up the phone! Which didn't quite explain the new phone answering etiquette...but whatever.

4. Terry is big big BIG on decorating for the holidays. Last fall in October I noticed he had Christmas lights strung. I asked him about it & he told me he didn't believe in Halloween so he was going straight to Christmas. He's worse than American retail.

5. Now this one is really unfortunate. But I can't complete this post without it. A few years ago Terry had a run of bad luck in the domestic pet department. His neighbor on the other side told Luke this:"I ran over Terry's cat. I feel terrible. I gave him my cat, to make him feel better. But my cat doesn't understand and she just keeps coming back in my house. (I know. A rather unorthodox response to killing someone's pet, and obviously not the smartest solution.) And worst of all, I really miss her and I feel like I want her back!" Luke suggested maybe she should just help Terry get a NEW cat.

So she did.

Now if I were a better story teller I'd have woven this little fact in somewhere in the text above. But I'm not, so take a mental time out and digest this: Terry doesn't have any teeth. He's got dentures that he refuses to wear, and for the most part, he speaks pretty well in spite of the missing teeth. But he can't say "V" - it comes out "B". Ok, resume reading.

Terry was really excited about his new cat. I asked him what he named it, and he said,
"Chebby."
"CHUBBY?" I asked (feeling a little defensive for the cat).
"No, CHEBBY!" he said.
"CHEBBY?" I clarified.
"NO!!! CHE-BBBEEEEYYYY. You know, like the CAR?"

Oh, right. CHEVY. To replace the previous cat who was hit by a car. The irony was not lost on me.

3.27.2011

Cleaning Update

I came home to an almost perfectly clean house Friday (thanks to the maid). Here's the reason for 'almost:'


In a related post...

FREE:
One cat who enjoys long walks in mud followed by long winding strolls through every clean surface in the house.

3.24.2011

Outsourcing

At 30 years old there aren't many "firsts" I've got left ahead. At least not good ones. No more first kisses, no more first babies, no more first houses or first cars or first trips to Hawaii. We're talking more like: first gray hair (check), first time dropping a kiddo off at school (sniff), first fight with a teenage child (no thanks), etc. Now really, I feel like "the best is ready to begin" (ten points if you know what theme song that's from), so don't get me wrong. I'm just setting the stage for a big first that happens tomorrow:

Between 11:30 and noon, two women will knock on my door, come into my house, and clean it top to bottom.

Somehow I feel like I have to confess this, like there's something pretentious about having a maid. My running girls (all working, independent women & momma's) and I talk about it carefully- like we have to explain our rationale: "I just have more important things to do! It is worth $50 every two weeks to not have to worry about dusting my baseboards- I work full time, I have a lot going on, I have a career- I can afford this, and I deserve it. I'd rather spend time playing with my kid than rushing around after work trying to clean toilets when my child is trying to get my attention."

It reminds me of a teacher in high school who explained outsourcing in this way: If Michael Jordan makes an average of $500/hr, and mows his own lawn when he could be paying $10/hr to have it done, he is actually LOSING money by doing it himself. I'm not exactly MJ but the concept makes sense. Still it feels like I'm committing housewife sacrilege: like I'm making mashed potatoes out of a box. Which is something I abhor, but have actually done about 3 times in my life...and vow to never do again.

This is not a commitment. I'm not signing up for regular service. I got a steal of a deal on living social (2 cleaning ladies, 3-4 hrs, $70). I would practically have been throwing money away NOT to buy it. So we'll see how it goes.

So Mom: If I get fake nails, a spray tan, buy a mercedes or have enhancement surgery you can worry. Don't worry yet.

3.22.2011

Daily Affirmation

I called Famous Dave's restaurant to place a to-go order. This was what the woman said when she answered the phone:



"Thank you for calling Famous Dave's!

This is Famous Jill!

How can I help you make your day Famous?!"



=



I am SO thankful for my job.

3.18.2011

FOOD.

Up until last week, when my dog park pals invited me to dinner at the Delta Cafe on Woodstock, I'd been eating fruits, vegetables, lean meat, and whole wheat complex carbohydrates. Just teasing. They lured me with their fabulous company and promises of deep fried food --- and they vowed not to let me pay. So Tammy, thanks for dinner. It was amazing- I can't believe I've lived within 5 miles of this place for so long & never eaten there! I had fried chicken, tater tot casserole, and mac & cheese. YUM.

Tammy, Tony & Les were great entertainment. I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard! As we were leaving I talked them into getting ice cream. I told them the last time I went out for ice cream I made the mistake of ordering first. I was with my running girls. I thought we had an unspoken agreement about gorging together since we run so stinking far together. I was wrong- after I ordered a dbl scoop waffle cone I turned around to find them daintily eating mini scoops with teaspoons. Tammy, Tony & Leslie were no better. Tammy turned down ice cream all together, tony skipped the cone, and les actually told the kid: that's enough ice cream. I left with a dbl scoop waffle cone. I'm pregnant, you know.

After dinner Leslie gave me a jar of her home canned pickles. Full of fried chicken & ice cream, I mustered the will power to save the pickles for the next day. They were amazing. I'm canning with her this summer. The pickles were gone in 24 hrs.Chevy's hot sauce. It says it's HOT, but the first ingredient is actually mangoes. There's a bottle on every table. Between my mom, ash & I we ate almost a full bottle last time we were there. The great news is they'll sell it to you if you ask.


The best I saved for last. Saturday night I left my friend Amy's baby shower feeling like I needed a little something. I'd been wanting to try Potato Champion
since I found out they have poutine. POUTINE is a food delight credited to the Canadians. It's fries + gravy + cheese curds. And it is AMAZING. My only complaint was that the cheese was not quite as melty as I'd have liked. I was able to power through it though

Side View

This is a nice side view of my baby:

This one makes me nervous. Where's this top lip coming from?

Oh wait. Kinda reminds me of a little-big lip that made us nervous 2.5 yrs ago:

But she turned out ok

So I won't worry :)

Baby Dos

Yesterday I had my 20 week ultrasound. Luke, the baby's father (in case there was any question), missed the ultrasound. He claimed to be stuck across town in Beaverton traffic...clearly suspicious as I've never heard of traffic out there. Anyhow, the tech took some pics. Luke is dead set on NOT finding out the sex, but I want to know. So I had the tech write down the gender & put it in an envelope. Which Luke forcefully confiscated and has hidden somewhere. It's driving me nuts. I thought he'd cave for sure, but he remains a pillar of strength.
Here's the foot of my baby:

Here's the arm & profile of my baby:

Here's the gender of our baby:

3.09.2011

It seemed like a good idea

hygiene=candy, in a round about way
-I have grapefruit bodywash
-It SMELLS exactly like the white gummi grapefruit slices TASTE
-I was craving them
-I searched for them on amazon from the comfort of my couch
-To my surprise (and yours, I'm sure), the most economical order quantity is five pounds.
-I also found they had gummi peaches, so I ordered those too
-Which is why the fed ex man brought me 10 lbs of candy
-It turns out too much candy hurts my stomach
-It turns out pregnancy cravings are short lived
-It turns out that as soon as you have 10 lbs of something you don't want it anymore
-Jo knows exactly which cupboard the candy is in & watches it like a hawk

19 weeks pregnant!

this is a few weeks ago- 16 weeks


today, 19 weeks:

Dancing, Counting & Jumping

Math skill run in the family. (PS - we're growing out the bangs...)


Dancing skills are genetically unlikely...


...so work with what ya got: Shake Yo Arms & Shake Yo Booty

otapus

A few weekends ago we went to the beach w/my parents & siblings- we stopped at the aquarium so Jo could see the otapus, who she was interested in for about 5 seconds. The octopus didn't appreciate flash photography so jo posed for a pic w/the fake.


Checking out sharks w/dad. Actually this is a fish- but there were sharks there too.

3.05.2011

Luugle

Today I asked Luke where the closest Safeway was to his Grandma's house.
He said "122nd & Powell."
I looked it up online & found the address was 3287 se 122nd.
He said that was the one @ 122nd & Powell.
I googled it anyhow & said, "yep, it's at 122nd & Powell- I googled it."
He said, "You didn't need to Google it, you could of just Luugled it."
My dad will appreciate this since I almost always google the facts he tells me- some of them are pretty unbelievable:
1. Those sheep have green marks on them in honor of st. patrick's day (regarding green-marked sheep seen on the side of the road on st. patrick's day). FALSE
2. There is more nutritional value in the seed of an apple than the entire apple. TRUE (although they also have a poisonous compound in them)
3. Domesticated ducks turn white. TRUE

Two out of three isn't bad, especially since #1 was more of a "LIE" than "FALSE."

3.04.2011

A pic of someone who inspires me...

Ok, i am copying katie for sure--- but kimberly really does inspire me. She is so passionate about sharing god's love, she literally risks her life to save people, she is making a difference in the fight against child prostitution & injustice. She loves her family to death & so I know that for her to be half a world away from them means she is VERY dedicated to her calling. Love you & miss you kim!!

3.02.2011

A picture of something you want to do before you die

Probably travel through Europe w/Luke. Or maybe have our dream home on a little bit of property somewhere nice. Or maybe publish a book & get paid for it. Plus all the normal stuff- see our kids grow up happy, healthy, loving god & happily married, grandkids, retirement, etc.