12.23.2011

happy where i'm at

Well this is a rare moment. I'm awake, drinking coffee, waiting for luke to get up & then I'll go run. BOTH of my children are happily sleeping, and I'm reveling in a quiet house with christmas lights twinkling on the tree and the heat blasting. Oops- wait, Jo is talking to herself now. Well anyway- it is a nice morning.

Before I blogged I used to write letters to Luke- not so much for his sake, but for me to keep as kind of a journal. History recorded wihtout the embarassment of "Dear diary" marking each page :) Luke's not gotten many letters in recent years, but I wrote one a while ago and part of what I said sums up my feelings this Christmas season:

...I fall asleep to the sound of the tv in the other room and “rockabye baby” music coming through the baby monitor. I feel like a very happy momma hen- with her chicks bedded down and her protector in the next room. So safe and sound. I know someday we’ll be up until 2 am waiting for a crazy teenager to come home safe. We won’t have to fight the bed time battle or get anyone a sippy cup of water or wipe any bottoms- but I think we’ll look back at these days and think: “man- even though parenting little kids was exhausting, at least you had them quiet and safe in their beds each night.” So I’m making effort to be thankful for that now, and it isn’t hard.

I try to be thankful so that when times are bad/hard/worse I will NOT look back with regret and think, "I wish I'd appreciated that other time more." That sounds kind of pessimistic, but what I'm trying to say is that sometimes you don't know that you're living in your glory days until they've passed. People tell me all the time, "Oh someday you'll MISS when they were this age." Everything fascinates Jo. She is filled with wonder (and obstinance- but let's maintain our optimisim). She tells me about how Mary had baby Jesus in the 'table (that's "STABLE" for most). Baylor (to his unending delight) has found his newest obsession: his hands. We have happily settled into a routine that means few dinners out, rare opportunity for spontaneity or sleeping in, and a dinner hour in this little house that would make your head spin. But we are happy. So I'm reveling in my glory days this Christmas and thankful to be where we're at.

5 comments:

Peaby said...

I was looking for the "like" button...

Aunt Nancy said...

So beautiful, Michelle. It reminds me of something granny would have written. You must hold a big piece of her in your heart. Love you guys!

Kate said...

Love this, and it is perfect right now, isn't it?? Give those kiddos and husband of yours a kiss for me!!

Anonymous said...

so happy that you get what having kids is really all about ooxx mom

Anonymous said...

so happy that you really get what having kids is all about
ooxx mom