I don't think I could forget the way these things feel; but should they fade or get lost in my mind over time, here I'll have them recorded:
1. My mom's cool hands on my forehead, checking for fever and smoothing back my hair.
2. Sitting on my dad's lap at Nannie's Christmas Eve dinner and listening to the bass of his voice and heartbeat through his chest.
3. The way a GOOD run feels- when the weather is sunny but cool, the daphne is blooming, the music is just right and my feet feel like they are FLYING.
4. The fulfilling exhaustion after ANY run.
5. The stuffy feeling in your nose and head after you're done with a good cry, and when whatever you were crying over has been made right.
6. The tucked-in feeling I get when Luke wraps both of his arms around me.
7. Going to bed sick and knowing you can sleep as long as you want without interruption.
8. When you come inside, tired, with dirt under your fingernails after a day spent gardening.
9. Laying down for a nap on a hot sunny day with the window open, a fan on, and nice clean sheets.
10. The feeling of having a tiny, vibrantly alive, warm little body placed on your chest, their bodies alternately limp and then squirming with surprising strength. The rush to get them dried, warm, and to kiss their little heads despite all the goop in their hair. The competing compulsion to unwrap and inspect their every little detail vs to rest your head, close your eyes, and just feel their skin on yours.
11. The feeling of a small soft hand on your breast as you nurse - sometimes casually flung, sometimes enthusiastically grabbing. But always with a bold, unashamed right of entitlement to their momma's body, time, and heart. As it should be.
12. Holding your children as they sleep and enjoying the freedom to snuggle and pet them as their impatience will not allow for during waking hours.
13. When I stick a chilly foot across the expanse under the covers and wedge it under Luke's leg, and he scootches over a little to more fully cover it.
14. The deliciously hot feeling that starts in your feet when you add more hot water to the bath.
15. Remedying cold camping mornings by finding a sunbeam, as Grandma Jo would say, and letting it warm you slowly.