You are in for a TREAT. I've got some major drama to share!
Sooo-ooh....I started online dating.
But I can't type yet so Jo had to help with my profile.
At first I was a little nervous that no one would respond. I mean, what are the odds I'm going to find a 4-5 month old man, without a ton of baggage, who appreciates a good glass of milk AND shares my love for the "ocean waves" station on the graco sound machine?
But the next day I logged in and was like WHOA. I. AM. POP-U-LAAAAAAAR!
I was really intrigued by a guy named Wes. He just seemed more mature than the other babies. Like for instance his mom lets him stay up late to watch Blazer games and he is already able to roll AND can put his feet in his mouth. So obviously he's pretty athletic. We arranged a play date so I could get a better look at him, you know you can never trust those online photos.
Things were going just fine and then all the sudden he put his arm around me and I was like WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE, PAL. I should have known what kind of infant he was, showing up with a self absorbed onesie like that.
So I started to roll away, which took a lot of work because I'm better at my front to back rolls than my back to front you know.
But then he got to telling these REALLY funny jokes, and I got a little bit distracted.
And pretty soon he had me laughing. I mean look at that deadpan?
He. Was. HILLARIOUS.
And then it happened. My mom told me something shocking.
I mean, it knocked me right out of my chair.
Wes is my COUSIN!!!!!!!!!!!
A love story extinguished. Nooooooo!
Oh my broken, devastated heart!
I just could NOT contain the depth of this despair.
And then my mom was like, well SOME cousins get married....
And I was like, MOM, they're not really cousins and that's NOT FUNNY.
So then my brother started trying to make me laugh. But he's not good with jokes because his way of being funny is just to take his pants off and run around like crazy. Which works for Jo, who laughs at anything.
But I have a more discerning sense of humor.
I was like, Baylor- NO ONE wants to see that. Put some clothes on dude.
Then my mom said the words that are sure to cure any girl's broken heart: I bought you something at the store! I perked right up.
A NEW HAT??? Heart REPAIRED. Thanks Mom.