middlebrooks

Our Friend Tom(s)

2012-01-22T16:26:00.000-08:00

More wedding pics are starting to roll in- most of these are taken by Patty- some are from Kim's wedding photographer Jeanie Francis
Here's a group shot Jeanie took. As Patty put it, "Luke said, 'I'll walk.'"

And the sweetest flower girl troop ever - I love how Finley looks like she's about to take flight!

Baylorman fell asleep on Uncle Jack's shoulder during the ceremony. Here's a picture of the two snuggling.

Here's a pic without our spouses- which is not intentional (Patty took the pic,Chris wasn't at the wedding, and Luke was probably busy cutting it up on the dance floor in his new dancing shoes...see below)

Here we are with Joey & Stacey - who I love, but I'm really posting this to show you how happy Baylor was to sleep in his sling for most of the night. And I'm not talking about "sleeping while I sat in the corner." I really WAS cutting it up on the dance floor - he slept through it all. And maybe it was a little more "moderately shimmying and shaking" than "cutting it up."

and finally....Luke in his ninja shoes/inmate shoes aka TOMS. (Luke's white tube socks wouldn't fit under the shoes, so he went sockless.) At the request of our very humanitarian bride & groom (they ARE missionaries, after all)- the groomsmen sported Tom's & skinny ties, both of which were new to Luke's fashion universe. I was just thankful he didn't have to wear skinny jeans.

Mr. Congeniality

2012-01-15T09:21:00.001-08:00

Least annoying option: don't watch this video at all
Lesser annoying option: turn the sound off & watch the video
Annoying level=Grandparents: watch the video & endure my high pitched mommy-talk

Showdown of the Rolls

2012-01-15T09:12:00.001-08:00

I thought this was pretty roley-poley:

And then I pulled up this pic of Jack for comparison:

and Baylor said,

"I can't believe I lost!"
*Judges note: It was a close call. It all came down to upper arm rolls. Jack has more.

My Beautiful Boy

2012-01-15T08:54:00.000-08:00

Middlebrooks Weddings @ the Old Church, Portland

2012-01-13T07:55:00.000-08:00

Thirty four years ago, a very proud daddy walked his stunning daughter down the aisle at the Old Church.

Last weekend it happened again.

Dick & Sara were married at the Old Church

and so were Kimberly & Oliver

The styles have changed over the years

but not the important stuff

Happy Anniversary Dick & Sara

and Congrats to Kimmee & Oli

It was the best second wedding for the same couple I've ever been to ;)

Good News Last

2012-01-04T19:32:00.001-08:00

I'll start with the bad news first:
Tonight I started to mix up some oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough. Terror struck cold in my heart when I realized I was out of FLOUR. I love sugar as much as the next gal, but butter and sugar do not a cookie make. The closest thing I could find was bisquick. I dumped it in. The dough looked fine. It tasted fine. (I know because I triple checked.) But when I checked after 10 minutes at 350 degrees, I was dissapointed to find puddley doughy cookies. I doubted they would even be edible.

The good news:
They are most definitely edible.

Christmas' past & present

2011-12-27T20:30:00.000-08:00

2009: Our first Christmas with baby Jo!

2010: Jo's second Christmas- we were about 7 weeks pregnant with Baylor when this was taken

2011: A big addition this year- Baylor! This is not the best picture, but it is hard to get two squirmy subjects to sit still!

An armful

2011-12-27T20:16:00.000-08:00

By this account, Santa should be a lithe and wiry old man. These things are heavy.

Avocado for Jo & Baylor

2011-12-27T20:08:00.000-08:00

Both of the kids tried avocado for the first time at 4.5 months old.

Jo:

Baylor:

Jo:

Baylor:

I think Jo liked them more.

Thoughts on Mr. Grinch

2011-12-27T20:01:00.000-08:00

She was profoundly impacted by the grinch's...grinchiness.

Faceplant

2011-12-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

We propped Baylor up on Christmas. It really can't be called "sitting" quite yet. In this video he gets a kiss from Jo which causes him to faceplant and knock over my coffee(no coffee spilled thanks to my contigo spill proof coffee mug)- poor kid. He's tough though- didn't even cry.

a post to make up for the last one

2011-12-23T09:11:00.001-08:00

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is sappy gooey gushy public displays of pollyanna-ness (ie my previous post). Sometimes I am prone to these outbursts. In fact, I bet statistically speaking 1 out of 5 posts I write make someone like me gag. You know: "I'm so lucky. I just got a speeding ticket but I am just so darn thankful for the reminder to drive safe." or "I am being audited by the IRS which is just an awesome way to help me be more accurate on my taxes!" So rather than un-blog it I will let it be, and instead counter it with this post. I sincerely meant everything I wrote below- I am thankful and happy. That is a wonderful reality. THIS is also a reality, if a bit less happy-warm-fuzzy:

Dangers of Potty Training & a Solve-It-Yourself Potty Training Equation

I knew potty training would be messy business. Cleaning up accidents. Pee pee in the car seat. The trials of a toddler learning do-it-yourself wiping. I was NOT prepared for the following:
1. Once I kissed Johonna and got a fleck of poo on my LIP. This means it was on her FACE. No amount of listerine can erradicate this.
2. Here's a potty training story problem:
1 toddler goes #2 in a potty training toilet in her room. Toddler walks out to living room with pants around ankles saying, "HOORAY! I WENT POOP!" Mom jumps off couch to take toddler to the real bathroom for clean up efforts that deserve appreciation but get none. Mom returns to toddler's room to clean out the toddler potty. There is now 1 dog in the room and zero #2.

You do the math.

***GAG***

happy where i'm at

2011-12-23T07:55:00.000-08:00

Well this is a rare moment. I'm awake, drinking coffee, waiting for luke to get up & then I'll go run. BOTH of my children are happily sleeping, and I'm reveling in a quiet house with christmas lights twinkling on the tree and the heat blasting. Oops- wait, Jo is talking to herself now. Well anyway- it is a nice morning.

Before I blogged I used to write letters to Luke- not so much for his sake, but for me to keep as kind of a journal. History recorded wihtout the embarassment of "Dear diary" marking each page :) Luke's not gotten many letters in recent years, but I wrote one a while ago and part of what I said sums up my feelings this Christmas season:

...I fall asleep to the sound of the tv in the other room and “rockabye baby” music coming through the baby monitor. I feel like a very happy momma hen- with her chicks bedded down and her protector in the next room. So safe and sound. I know someday we’ll be up until 2 am waiting for a crazy teenager to come home safe. We won’t have to fight the bed time battle or get anyone a sippy cup of water or wipe any bottoms- but I think we’ll look back at these days and think: “man- even though parenting little kids was exhausting, at least you had them quiet and safe in their beds each night.” So I’m making effort to be thankful for that now, and it isn’t hard.

I try to be thankful so that when times are bad/hard/worse I will NOT look back with regret and think, "I wish I'd appreciated that other time more." That sounds kind of pessimistic, but what I'm trying to say is that sometimes you don't know that you're living in your glory days until they've passed. People tell me all the time, "Oh someday you'll MISS when they were this age." Everything fascinates Jo. She is filled with wonder (and obstinance- but let's maintain our optimisim). She tells me about how Mary had baby Jesus in the 'table (that's "STABLE" for most). Baylor (to his unending delight) has found his newest obsession: his hands. We have happily settled into a routine that means few dinners out, rare opportunity for spontaneity or sleeping in, and a dinner hour in this little house that would make your head spin. But we are happy. So I'm reveling in my glory days this Christmas and thankful to be where we're at.

Christmas Festivities

2011-12-15T20:27:00.000-08:00

When we went to get our tree a few weeks ago, the first thing Jo saw was the nativity scene. She wanted to touch baby Jesus so we let her. (Why is it that whenever I say or think or write "Baby Jesus" I am haunted by the sound of Will Ferrel's voice in Taladega Nights!?)

Here are the mobile members of our family. The stationary/drooling one stayed in the car (It was a VERY small lot and we were there all of five minutes)

And just tonight I took Jo & Baylor to see Santa. Predictably Jo was more frightened than excited- but I think she warmed up to him a little.

From 2011-12-15

And finally- a little video of Baylor-man for Daddy who is out of town and misses his kiddos!

Moose from Jordan Valley

2011-12-11T09:22:00.000-08:00

Aunt Laurie sent Baylor a moose to be his special stuffed animal. It must have been meant to be - Baylor has a matching moose vest he likes to wear for dress up occassions. Moose has yet to be named...but I'm leaning towards moosey.

Baylor says: Thanks Aunt Laurie!!

Thankful

2011-12-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

This year we're thankful for so much. Here are a few pics from thanksgiving at my parents. I didn't take ANY pics @ Grandma Jo's!!! boo!

a little bit Portland, a little bit Milwaukie

2011-12-09T19:12:00.000-08:00

I practically live in Portland. I barely live in Milwaukie. I am NOT in like the used car dealerships/McLoughlin Milwaukie- I'm in the we-have-community-meetings-at-the-newly-built-elementary-school Ardenwald neighborhood. We're like one community garage sale away from having those self important green neighborhood signs that say "Ardenwald Neighborhood" like you see in Sellwood (which is Milwaukie's slightly more affluent big sister). My house is .6 miles from the dividing line. I know this because I drive over it every day. In case you were curious, BOTH cities, in fact, enforce the speed limit by way of photo radar. Those are the sorts of messages you see around here when you cross boundaries. It's not quite as friendly as the "thanks for visiting Washington, come again! (yeah right- no thanks Vancouver!)" or "Welcome to Oregon." It's more like: "don't speed or you'll get caught. feel free to park 12 cars in your yard, use the grocery cart to get your groceries home, and bowl every night of the week, but do NOT speed."

Anyhow, I was born in Portland. I fancy myself a Portlander, not a Milwaukian. But maybe I'm just fooling myself.

1. Tonight I took the kids for a walk. (Outdoorsey Portlandy)
2. I took the dog too. (Very Portlandy)
3. The dog is a pitbull. (uber-Milwaukie.) Just teasing- he's an Australian Shepherd. (Phew- Portlandy)
4. I pushed my kids in a double Bob jogging stroller. (Atheltic Portlandy) Bonus Portland points: I bought it off craigslist.
5. I wore a hoody, jeans & running shoes (definitely Portlandy- hip and not trying to hard.)
6. The jeans were boot cut. Not skinny. (ouch. Milwaukie.)
7. When my dog "did his business" I picked it up. (Responsible Portlandy.) Bonus Portland points: I used a plastic produce bag which I expressly saved for this purpose instead of throwing into the landfill.
8. At the grocery store I bought gourmet pretzels & beer (foodie Portlandy)

****and here's where the tide turns*****

9. The beer was Coors Light. (macro-brew Milwaukie)
10. I bought the 18-bottle case because it is more cost effective. (minimum wage Milwaukie)
11. The enormous box of alcohol was too large to fit in the undercarriage of my Bob stroller. Since I was too embarrassed to unpack it and shove it in the multitude of Bob cargo pockets (and I don't know what the Safeway return policy is on beer) I had no other choice but to put it on top of the stroller's handlebar. Precariously balanced above the heads of my precious children. (heart of McLoughlin Milwaukie)
12. I was more than a little worried I'd get mugged for my beer while walking back home. (misdemeanor Milwaukie)

There you have it. Tomorrow in effort to restore my inner Portlander I'll be shopping at Whole Foods, bike commuting somewhere, and sipping fair trade coffee in the Pearl.

My project

2011-12-08T22:10:00.000-08:00

While on a walk one night we came by this desk, sitting for free on the curb. I talked Luke into driving back for it, with intentions of painting & distressing it. I never finish projects I start- this is a rare exception!
before:

From 2011-10-23

after!

What I like the most about this desk (besides the hardware & that it was free) is that it was horribly beat up- scratches everywhere. In two places someone carved something into it. Not a swear word or profanity though- in both places they carved Jesus. I love that.

a few things

2011-11-28T20:56:00.001-08:00

1. Tonight I got Jo OUT of bed because "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" was on TV. It seemed like a good idea, and it was. She was thrilled. She kept saying, "he not a very nice guy." Then she asked where baby Jesus was.
2. I just opened a bag of dark chocolate peanut m&m's and I have bad intentions.
3. Our new nanny started today, so far so good. She's into crafting- her & Jo made an advent count down construction paper chain. Mostly I think she made it, but she said Jo was into the glue stick portion of the craft.
4. I got my tires rotated today at les schwab & then an oil change, which is more TLC than the car has seen since it rolled off the lot. My dog is jealous of my car. My husband is jealous of the dog.
5. I put Baylor down for two naps today via this incredibly complicated routine: I layed him down. That was it. Boom. Parenting expert. Let me know if you need any parenting advice. (Please don't remind me of this post when I realize he will never go to sleep this easily ever again).
6. Yesterday morning there was a blue stock pot (like the speckled blue kind you use for camping) and lid on my doorstep. I opened it cautiously, quite certain I'd find a severed head or a king cobra. It was empty. I don't know who put it there, so I put it in my shed which is where all things ranging from useless (a broken tomato cage) to precious (previously mentioned dark chocolate m&m stockpile) end up. We clean out the shed 2 times every year- always vowing to really keep it organized from now on.
7. My son likes to socialize with one of our couch pillows. He laughs and smiles at it. I keep trying to get it on video. I am choosing not to read too much into this. With limited license my mind has still come to the following conclusions: a) he's destined to be a couch potato b)he'll befriend couch pillows over other children c)he thinks the pillow is his mom d) he likes the couch more than me.
8. As a combined result of old age + living in milwaukie, I am becoming increasingly desensitized to hideously overdone Christmas light displays. My neighbor "Terry" has had his lights up since before Halloween. Some guy down the street has $3/foot color changing "lightshow" Christmas lights. I know the cost and name because I was jealous and googled it. Color changing "lightshow" lights are pretty obnoxious...and I want them.
9. I succumbed to a $13 fiber optic fake mini-tree from Walmart. I love the color changing magic and for $13 I couldn't push my cart past it. When I got home and unpacked it before unloading my kids from the car (just teasing) Luke said, "I like where your head's at." He thought this was "the" tree for the year. He was sorely mistaken and quickly corrected. It is a bonus tree. The big tree is still to come.

Merry Christmas!

My whole world in such a small space

2011-11-27T07:08:00.000-08:00

This morning my alarm went off & I carefully removed myself from a tangle of limbs- Jo & Baylor both ended up in bed with us in the last 6 hours. Baylor is usually fitful this time of day, but he had his arms thrown up above his head and was snuffling peacefully asleep. Jo had her head curled in by her daddy and her booty up in the air. Luke was on his back as usual. They were all so happy looking. I wanted a picture but not enough to risk waking Baylor with a flash. As my mother in law says anytime we're too lazy to go find a camera to capture a moment: Memory Picture!

Jesus and some unrelated thoughts

2011-11-17T17:21:00.000-08:00

A few unrelated thoughts:

1. Today I asked Jo if she wanted to pray for anything and she said, "Dear God, thank you for Jesus. He is a good man." Out of the mouths of babes.
2. I am glad for point #1 above, because I am attempting to untangle the following theological elements in the mind of my 2 year old:
a) Jesus' birth & Christmas
b) Santa Claus & Christmas
c) The Elf on the Shelf
d) Veggie Tales, including the Veggie Tales nativity set in which baby Jesus is represented by a small cucumber.
e) Baby Jesus vs Grown up Jesus
f) Disney Princesses vs Barbies, and Jesus. She told Princess Ariel and Snow White the other day that Cinderella was Jesus. Hopefully God's got a sense of humor.
3. Luke was in a good mood the other morning, and I was not. He felt especially chatty about something I didn't feel like talking about (something really dumb- like what we were having for dinner or something) and I had not had my coffee yet. I told him, "Talking more is not helping this conversation."
4. Jo tebowed today in her Denver Broncos cheer costume (Thanks Aunt Laurie!) and 'parkle shoes (of course). Her daddy is so proud. GO BRONCOS!

Overheard on the playground

2011-11-13T21:38:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite "Jack" stories is from when he was in sixth grade, away at outdoor school. Mom & Dad received one brief letter from him. In his crooked, sprawling scrawl, this is what it said:

Dear Mom and Dad,
Outdoor school is da bom.
Love,
Jack

Da bom. I may need to do a post on Jack stories. There are lots of them.

Last week I took Jo to the elementary school playground. The after-school kids were on recess so Jo stood back and watched for a while before climbing on the equipment. There was a wild pack of girls running rampant through the playground. Jo ran with them on the fringes, laughing and squealing with all the joy of a lone wolf newly accepted into the pack. She was especially impressed with one gals 'parkle shoes.

While kicking it with first graders, here's what I had the pleasure of overhearing:

In confidence: "I am the ULTIMATE android!"
In protest: "Zombies CAN'T run!!!"
In defense: "FORCEFIEEEEEEELD!"

One girl to me:
girl: "Can I show you something?"
me: "Sure."
girl, showing me a piece of plastic jewelry she found, "finders keepers!"
me: "Oooh, that's neat."
girl, pointing at her eyes: "yeah, I found it cuz I have GREAT eyesight!"
girl, pointing to where no cat is: "like, I can see that cat over there."

Two boys dibsing super powers:
"I call night-seeing."
"I call DAY-seeing."
"That sucks."

Discussions with an artist

2011-11-07T13:47:00.001-08:00

Here's some video of her painting.

Tooterooter

2011-11-07T13:45:00.001-08:00

Here's a vid of Jo chilling on her potty, reading a book. I LOVE it whenever she says tooterooter.

Big Feet

2011-11-07T08:34:00.001-08:00

Halloween take 2

2011-11-07T08:29:00.000-08:00

More halloween
Q&A on Halloween Etiquette- 1 out of 5 stars for cuteness. (that means only grandparents should watch it)

In Wilsonville you get FULL sized candy bars. That's right- we border hopped to get better candy.

Future President, Alameda Carpet & Upholstery ;)

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Remind me next year that MAKING a costume is NOT better than buying one. Again my daughter was subjected to a messy tangle of tulle and sparkles, which ended up being more expensive than an overpriced target costume. Baylor was a lobster & Jo was a 'parkle princess with 'parkly dress and 'parkle shoes. After one house the "trick or treat" concept sunk in & she was off & running!

For Jack & Patty's halloween party, Luke & Baylor were carpet cleaners & I was a dirty rug. Very clever. Mostly crafted around the fact that luke generally refuses to dress up for this sort of thing.

Carpet cleaners typically wear pants. If they show up without pants and they're older than this guy, close the door and LOCK it.

The whole gang- There were some awesome costumes- I think my favorite was Chris in the back- a 6'3 GIANT chicken. The costume was a little short for him. There were some unnecessary chicken thigh sightings.

this girl...

2011-11-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

Jo has been developing some entertaining stall/diversion tactics. Here's her latest:
1. "I too tiiiiiny!" (When being told to eat her last 3 grapes)
2. "But I just a girl!" (After the "too tiny" excuse didn't get her out of eating her grapes)
3. "But I just a princesssssss!" (While protesting the rinsing of her sudsed-up hair in the tub this morning)

Blitz!

2011-11-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

This was a quote from one of our aunts, upon meeting our son: "I love the name 'Baylor'! But...where did you come up with his middle name???" That sums up the majority of feedback we've gotten on our choice of names. But I mean come on- it's not like we named the kid Apple or January or something really obscure. So here's the break down of what Baylor's middle name is intended to mean and not mean:

1. "Blitz" doesn't mean the 2011 movie starring a bunch of people I've never heard of. IMDB says the film is about "A tough cop is dispatched to take down a serial killer who has been targeting police officers."

2. "Blitz" doesn't mean "Blitz" as in the 1960's beer brewed in Portland by the Weinhard brothers. I'd consider rethinking this except that Blitz beer was apparently the PBR of its time, and my son is more of a fancy craft-brewed seasonal ale kinda guy.

3. "Blitz" doesn't mean "Blitz" as in the software development firm whose website is so crappy I'd never buy something computer-related from them.

4. Most definitely, "Blitz" is NOT refering to the bombing of Britain by the Germans in WWII. No thanks.

Baylor IS named "Blitz" for the football tactic (which is actually named after the German bombing strategy). Wikipedia says this: "A blitz or red dog is when players on or behind the line of scrimmage during a play, are sent across the scrimmage line to the offensive side to try to tackle the quarterback or disrupt his pass attempt." Isn't that what ALL football plays are about? Lost on me. Anyhow, this was all Luke's idea.

And it is better than Baylor "Red Dog" Middlebrooks.

Over the Moon!

2011-10-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

While in Phoenix, Katie's friend Lisa (Over The Moon photography) took some pics of our kids. I am in love with these!
Look at this monkeys- they had a blast together:

A girl & her rat:

love those eyes

and that smile

My little man!

Locked Up Abroad

2011-10-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

I think that is the title of the show Luke's forever watching- where (for the most part) idiot crack heads get caught smuggling crack in their...cracks... and then get imprisoned in pretty sketch jails for years on end. The show always paints them as innocent victims (almost heroes) but I like to remind myself: if you don't put drugs in your private parts & try to skip town you significiantly reduce your risk of being "locked up abroad."

Anyhow, while in Phoenix, Savannah kept closing her & Jo in rooms. Jo has an irrational fear of closed doors (because she can't open them, mostly) and so Jo would scream and Savannah would try to talk her down, and one of us would open the door eventually. We got really concerned one morning though when we heard BOTH Jo & Savannah crying.

When we finally turned off the soap opera we were watching and put down our bon bons and wine spritzers (a typical agenda for stay at home moms, obviously) to attend to the children, we found that they were locked in the play room.

Katie, Daniel, me & Finley set about trying to free the girls. They were HYPED up. Katie offered them her hands under the door, and she said they were both SQUEEZING her hands. Now remember, they were locked in a play room. Not a dungeon, not a lion's den, etc. They were surrounded by toys. So it was sort of comical.

Girls get stuck: (worth watching for about 5 seconds only)

Finally (and I mean after about 5 minutes) I got the other door open. Watch their tearful evacuation. Jo, despite being very distraught, was not leaving without her lego wagon.

My sunshine

2011-10-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

i think this video is side ways, but worth listening to. It is my sweet girl singing "You Are My Sunshine."

Over the Moon!

2011-10-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

While in Phoenix we had some pics taken of the kids together. My goodness- I love these!!!

Big time

2011-10-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

Jo went pee in the potty today and she is sleeping in a big girl bed. Mostly I am just testing to see if I can post to my blog from my new iPad... And it looks like i can! Woohoo!!!

Second children

2011-10-15T06:24:00.000-07:00

First children grow out of the swing before you need to replace the batteries.
Second children (I won't name names) get a second battery change before 3 months of age.

First children get pacifiers boiled in hot water before use.
Second children get pacifiers sucked clean by mom after hitting the floor.

First children get shopping cart seat covers to avoid germs.
Second children get a strengthened immune system.

First children get changed 3 times per night for maximum dryness.
Second children only get changed if they leak.

First children sleep in mom's room until about 7 months of age.
Second children get the boot at 2.5 months.

First children get bathed each night, as part of a peaceful bed time routine.
Second children get bathed when they start to smell.

First children are loved to pieces by their momma.
Second children are loved to pieces by their momma.

Pics

2011-10-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

he's smiling!

From 2011-09-23

Trouble in a box

Kimberly & her prince, Oliver. Oliver is a stand up man, and I am super excited he's joining the family. I only wish they lived here permanently!

I love the look on Jo's face...

Great Wolf Lodge has nothing on Grandma's deck...

Luke & I have very little in common...

2011-10-04T08:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I drove Luke's truck while he was out of town. I buy furniture while he is gone, and needed his cargo space. Anyhow, the point of the matter is this:

Out of 6 possible matches, we only have 2 radio station pre-sets in common.

His first three choices are weird radio stations I've NEVER listened to! I think one was like classic rock, and I'm not sure what the other two were.

Oddly enough, our first radio station in common (his #4 and my #6) was z100, 100.3. That's the one all the cool kids listened to in 4th grade, but that I could never get clearly on my radio-alarm clock since we lived too close to the station on Macadam. I'm still not quite cool enough to listen to it. The show is actually recorded in Phoenix, and my very favorite thing that happens on z100 is during the morning commute. They have this Mexican guy (I think- I'm horrible at placing accents) do the traffic. He does the local Portland traffic for us too. His accent is AWESOME, and at the end he says, "theeese is ___(i forgot his name), for dee johnjaaaay and reeeech."

The other station we have in common is 99.5 The Wolf (aka KWJJ for veteran listeners). This pleases me because I've listened to this station since 4th grade when I realized I had no chance of getting z100 in without static. At that time (and maybe now?) 99.5 and 98.7 were hotly competitive country stations. You had to choose your allegiance, and I chose 99.5. As an adult I cannot objectively give you even one small reason why 99.5 is superior to 98.7, except that in my mind, cool kids listen to 99.5 and slow, old people listen to 98.7. That is totally unfounded because they play EXACTLY the same music. In fact, I have both pre-set in my car, but 99.5 is first. Also, I cannot stand their morning show, Mike & Amy. Everything he says drives me nuts, and she is nice enough but her laugh makes me cringe. Anyhow, I'm glad Luke & I have common allegiance to the same country station.

The dark horse of Luke's radio station pre-sets is his #6: 88.something fm, which is instrumental music. I have a growing fondness for my instrumental-inspired station on pandora, where words are nay to be found. Listening to instrumental music (typically upbeat/scottish/violin/fiddle/guitar-y) officially means I am OLD OLD OLD. It is like graduating from picture books to books with only words. Dull and old. Fun fact- my super favorite instrumental song is called "The Gloaming" and it almost always stops Baylor from crying in the car. But ONLY that song.

In pre-marital counseling, the pastor told us we should develop some common interests. We tried golf. He liked it and I hated it. Thankfully the pastor agreed to marry us anyhow. We still have very little in common- in fact only 33% of our radio stations-- but the thing we DO have in common is that we like each other. And we have the same views on God, politics, and money. So I guess if you agree on the big stuff you can overlook 3 poor choices on someone's radio pre-set.

Luke & Jo/Luke & Baylor

2011-10-01T21:09:00.000-07:00

Jo, 6 weeks old:

Baylor, 8 weeks old:

Jo:

Baylor:

Jo:

Baylor:

Noses:

Prickly faced Daddy kisses:

Luke/Baylor

2011-10-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

Baylor:

Luke:

Baylor:

Luke:

Baylor:

Luke:

Baylor:

It Ain't Easy Being Green

2011-10-01T20:51:00.000-07:00

Jo is into painting, thanks to a brief introduction at Aunt Linda's house. Since every toddler deserves some finger paint, I dutifully bought the paint, put her in her high chair, and proceeded to get online in the dining room to catch up on some probably very important facebook updates. Here's how that worked out for me:

Conversations with "Terry"

2011-10-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

Today's the first, which means one thing in this hood: grocery shopping w/Terry. Luke's out of town so Terry acted as my male chaperone while we stopped to pick up a craigslist find - Jo's first big girl bed. I'm not sure Terry is physically capable of kicking anyone's ass, but I know one thing: he'd go down swinging :)

Anyhow, here's some highlights from tonight's venture...

Terry on Cleanliness (since you don't know him, I'll tell you: that is ironic)
Terry: Yep- (this is how he begins most sentences) everyone keeps telling me, 'You know you're the only man livin alone that's got such a clean 'partment!' And I say, 'Yep. Well I like my 'partment real clean.' Ya know, when my wife was alive, she didn't do no cleanin. But I'm keepin it real clean. I got it all straightened out. And after I clean the rug I got that deal- ya know- where you spray it around the room (insert image of Terry squirting an imaginary spray bottle in my car) and makes it smell real nice.

Terry on Holiday Decor
Terry: This Christmas I'm gonna do things different.
Me: Oh yeah? (this is the only prompt he ever really needs. Scratch that- he doesn't really need prompts, but it feels weird to not interject every now and then)
Terry: Yep. Ya know those deals that go outside and light up? Look like trees?
Me: Yep.
Terry: Well I'm gonna get a big one and a small one. And put up some more lights. (Terry is the Griswold of Milwaukie, with the most haphazard mish mash of lights strung together you'll ever see. I can't complain...I gave him our old lights last year. He usually has them up about 2 weeks BEFORE halloween...)

Terry on Health
Terry: Yep- My doctor's real proud of me!
Me: Oh yeah?
Terry: Yep. I went in and saw him and he said my sugars are better (Terry's diabetic), my blood pressure is real low (hopefully not too low), and ya know that other deal, oh what's it called? Well the other thing is real good too. And I'm down 200 lbs(!!!). Yep, I lost some weight (patting his stomach). He says he wishes all them would do what he tells 'em like I do. Ya know, his patients. And I told him, 'Yep! I'm gonna stay on this earth a lot longer!'
Me: Yep- that's good. We want you on this earth longer.
Terry, laughing: Yep! EVERYONE wants me on this earth longer!

Conversations

2011-09-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

Jo & I chatting- Grammy gets a special mention, she also got referenced today when I put Jo in a sweatshirt (Grammy REALLY likes to wear sweatshirts). Jo lost sight of me at the employee store a few weeks ago & got really scared, so she is now prepped for how to handle an "uh oh i'm lost situation."

5 hrs on MAX

2011-09-22T15:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a significant portion of my extended family went on a max (public transport...) adventure. Public transport is not complete without one crazy man singing "give peace a chance," and yesterday didn't dissapoint. Sara, who sees the teachable moment in every circumstance, leaned over to her teenagers and said, "see, that is why you say NO to drugs."

We took 4 children under the age of 3 plus 5 teenagers from Clackamas Town Center to the Nike Employee store (read: BEAVERTON). The plan was to stop at the zoo on the way home, but in a strange twist of fortune/misfortune (depending on which age group you asked) the zoo was closed. It was a 5 hr round trip ordeal, each way on max accounting for about 2 hrs.

Highlights:
1. Nursing on the MAX, which truly didn't seem to phase the guy sitting next to me. He must have been an experienced public transit commuter...or maybe he was just thankful to not be sitting next to "give peace a chance" guy.
2. Finley getting a diaper change on the MAX.
3. Hearing the words, "Final Stop" unexpectedly downtown, where we were not planning on figuring out a train switch.
4. Kimberly lamenting the lack of starbucks at all nearby stops (I was lamenting with her)
5. All of us lurching & jerking around each time the train screeched to a halt.
6. Herding the children away from the dead nutria at the greenspace by the employee store where we enjoyed or picnic dinner after finding out the zoo was closed.
7. Jo skinning off the better part of her knee in front of the employee store while trying out her new running shorts.

It was an adventure to be sure!

Smiles

2011-09-22T15:39:00.000-07:00

Baylor's big smile, Patty captured it on film. She is great at getting amazing kid pics!

Middlebrooks Wedding!

2011-09-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

Chris & Rachel got hitched last weekend! The wedding was beautiful, and the couple so in love! Their vows were sweet and sincere. They had the 2 cutest flower girl ever. And I only took about 10 pictures before my camera died, so most of these are hijacked photos courtesy of Patty or the photobooth!

4
Twinsies

From CHRIS RACHEL WEDDING

darn near close to all the hamilton family!

Patty!

She got a sucker for being the flower girl

Ash is PREGO!!!

2011-09-15T07:01:00.000-07:00

My little sis is PREGNANT! Jack and I are in shock that our LITTLE sis is prego. When we talk on the phone Jack likes to say, "Can you believe Ash is PREGNANT!?" and I say, "NO!!!" Very surreal- but we are SO excited for Ash & Chris- they will make a great set of parents. I think they're having a BOY.

Ash & Chris told my parents in a VERY cool way- here's the video. Luke, Mom & Dad are finding out - me, patty & jack knew the news:

more pics to come!

Meet & Greet

2011-09-13T14:35:00.000-07:00

Here is Baylor meeting Aunt Kimberly a few weeks ago. Kimberly had just traveled over 40 hours & been informed her luggage was delayed- but she still looks beautiful! We are so excited to have her home!

Here is Baylor meeting Luke's great-auntie Bev, who I think is Baylor's eldest relative! Auntie Bev is so sweet with babies and kids- she lets Jo climb all over her walker and absent mindedly stroked Baylor's little hands the entire time she held him. It was so sweet.

Eyes for Aunt Laurie

2011-09-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Laurie drove all they way from Jordan Valley to meet Baylor after he was born. Since he was so little & new he didn't open his eyes for her, and she asked me to post a pic showing that he does indeed have eyeballs.

Ignore the pink blanket. Poor kid - that is what happens when you have a big sister- you get lots of pink accessories handed down.

You can't see his eyes, I just like that picture.

His typical look- a mix of disgruntledness and curiousity about where his milk-cow wandered off to.

'Parkle Shoes

2011-09-13T14:28:00.000-07:00

This is the second pair (in what will surely be a long line) of "'parkle shoes" from my parents. I don't care much for sparkle shoes, but Jo does. She thinks they compliment every outfit. She tells me they can be dressed up, or dressed down. They're even suitable with tube socks, obviously.

Stephens Beach Trip Get Away!

2011-09-12T17:34:00.000-07:00

It started as a simple plan - My Dad & Uncle Bart would take their granddaughters to the beach for the weekend. Then their wives found out and insisted they take a chaperon (me) to make sure they didn't lose or otherwise mame the kids through gross neglect. So this weekend I chaperoned a grandpa's beach trip. They didn't know it, but they were undergoing a serious test in which they could both gain and lose points towards child-care independence. Here's how they scored:

+10 points: We saw a momma bear & her two cubs on the way to Uncle Bart's cabin! My dad earned points by stopping a safe distance away.
-10 points: he unrolled the window as we drove by so Jo could see. And so the bear could eat my baby through the window like a drive through snack.

Here's dad & Jo next to "Chinookie" the giant carved bear. Jo consistently called it "JACK."
+10 points for foresight- Uncle Bart had it commissioned and told the artist to carve it WITHOUT baring its teeth so as not to scare the kids. It worked- Jo was not scared of the giant bear.

+30 points: Uncle Bart asked if the life jacket I brought for Jo was coast guard approved. My dad double checked to see that it was. Bart also informed me of his tsunami evacuation plan which includes a pre-packed emergency back pack. Good thinking gentlemen.

Uncle Bart bought a beautiful new boat for their anniversary. Good thing I wasn't scoring on thoughtfulness towards spouses- they actually earned +20 points for acquiring a new safer boat with which to take the babies out to sea in. As you may have noticed, Jo was not a fan of the boat at first- but after some yogurt bribery she became a big fan! While crabbing she actually took a peaceful 1.5 hr nap out on the water!

+30 points for meal prep. Uncle Bart fed the kids corn dogs, Dad grilled steak, and then Bart made us his (first time ever) famous french toast.
-5 points for feeding them donuts for breakfast. I can't really fault them for it though- the donuts looked good & the girls were happy.

+40 points for enforcing weather-appropriate clothing. As a curve ball, I packed Jo, myself & Baylor only tank tops & shorts. This wasn't short sighted on my part- it was meant to be a special test. My dad passed with flying colors when he tolerated and funded a stop at the outlet mall to get Jo some long pants & the sweatshirt you see here. Jo kept asking for help to get her "helmet" (hood) on.

+15 courtesy points: The 4 crabs caught were murdered & eaten out of sight of me & the kids. Good job uncle bart!

-15 points: Jo was pinched by a crab under my father's supervision. She lived, and did not bleed. Here she is showing me how the crab attacked her- with his pinchers.
+10 points: Dad & Bart slathered the girls with sunscreen without my direction! Well played. Nearly offsets the attack on my child by a sea monster. By the way, Dad was also pinched by a crab during the trip. He did bleed, but lived.
+10 safety points: They didn't attempt this without propping Baylor up with one hand.

-10 points for getting a bit close to my newborn son with this giant crab who is trying to eat him! (hence the horrified and horrifying look on my face)

+10 points for taking pictures of my son on the boat

-2 points for exposing my son's pink diaper (which we all agreed to never tell him about)

+20 points for suggesting popcorn & a movie to two overtired girls on Saturday night. -30 points for pouring some mixed drinks & leaving to go visit the neighbor. As they left they said, "See Michelle, if you weren't here this would keep them busy for 2 hours while we go visit our friend." +10 points for maintaining a sense of humor.

Overall, I am happy to say that the Stephens brothers PASSED their test with flying colors. They doted on the girls, exhibited massive amounts of patience, and ensured that all the ladies (myself especially!) had a fabulous time. Bart & Linda's cabin is GORGEOUS- I have a whole list of things I want to tell Linda that I love. I told Bart, but men don't appreciate complimenting one's choice in linens as much as women do. It was a super relaxing weekend - a wonderful retreat. And a special blessing too to see these two men fawn over a pair of diva's who love them as much as they're loved by them.

Love you Dad & Uncle Bart!!!

Newborn pics

2011-09-07T12:41:00.000-07:00

Baylor is a month old now, but these pics were taken when he was 2 weeks old by our favorite photographer, Stephanie Klein. I love my little newborn, but the pics of Jo are my favorite- Stephanie captured her spunk and personality perfectly!

Doesn't he have the most kissable lips?

Luke trying to reason with Baylor (a scene sure to be repeated often before he turns 18)

I love her arm around her daddy. He calls her "little monkey" and she calls him "silverback."

This is about right...

The same look she has when she sits indian style (oops, i think the pc term now is "criss cross applesauce" on our floor watching Elmo's World)

FAKE smile:

REAL smile:

Twerpy look she gives you when she doesn't buy your line, or when she is talking crazy:

Baylor's cute little belly button:

I believe he may have the strictly utilitarian, pointy, Middlebrooks rear:

Last one:

Oops- I lied

and you believed me!

www.handlebar...

2011-08-31T08:45:00.001-07:00

Imagine my surprise when I saw this guy walk out of my bathroom the other night. This was a facial hair decision I did not get a vote in. Thankfully, it was short lived & I'm happy to report that my husband is restored to his former handsomeness.

In other Luke news, it's fantasy football time. Which is the one and only time of the year that luke needs to know his email address. Last year his [patient] friend Robert set him up an email account. 365 days later, Luke is unable to recall his email. He texted Robert to see if Robert knew it. Nope. Luke kept throwing out options of things he thought it might be. Finally he asked:

Are you sure there's not a www. before it???

"I Play My Piano"

2011-08-22T19:12:00.001-07:00

For the grandparents :)

Jo & Bay

2011-08-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

My two favorite kids:

First family snapshot- 2 days old!

Just hanging in bed

Baylor's Peeps

2011-08-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

Baylor has had a steady stream of visitors- and while I haven't done a perfect job of getting pics of him with his fans, I have gotten quite a few!

The Keels
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Auntie Naomee:

Grandma Jo:

Lexee- (Jo has told Baylor lots of good things about how wonderful and fun Lee-Lee is!)

Aunt Liz- who earns lots of points for getting choked up over my son. THAT is the way into a mommies heart!

Isn't my husband dashing?

KP!

Aunt Laurie- who gets the award for longest drive (9 hours!) to see this baby!

Cassandra:

Richard & Christina:

From 2011-08-08

Big cousins Christina & Cassandra:

From 2011-08-08

LOTS of cousins!

Uncle Bart- this is funny b/c I didn't take a pic of him holding Baylor- just Jo! Oops!

My 84 year old Nannie- with her first great-grand son-- the first boy born into the Stephens family in 27 years!

Aunt Linda & Cousin Julia (who introduced Jo to painting & piano playing!)

Jo-Ho Ho Ho~

2011-08-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

When Jo was born in May of 2009 I bought her a stocking kit, to craftily sew on the long winter nights preceding her first Christmas. Well let me tell you- her first and second Christmases passed with only a handful of sequins as progress. Thank you AUNT LAURIE for taking over graciously and finishing the most elaborate Christmas stocking to ever deck my halls! Jo loves it, and it will be part of her Christmas memories for her entire life! Love you Aunt Laurie!

Rachel's Shower!

2011-08-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

The Hamilton crew put on a beautiful shower for Rachel, my 8th sister-to-be! Rachel is beautiful & lovely & is a perfect match for Chris & the kids. Here are some pics from the day, thanks to Melissa who faithfully acted as patty's photographer stand in!
Soon to join the ranks of the Mrs. Middlebrooks'!

About to open a Victoria's Secret box- we cannot show you what was in it ;)

She had to chew bubble gum for every question about Chris she answered wrong- good thing she knows him pretty well :)

Beautiful momma & beautiful daughter!

New family!

Luke: On Childbirth

2011-08-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

Tonight I overheard Luke talking to his friend Robert, who is going to be a daddy sometime in the next 2 weeks. It will be Robert's first baby, so he called Luke for some tips. I only regret not staking out the conversation more carefully. In between cooking dinner, here's what I heard Luke say. And I'm NOT making this up. You might think, "Oh Michelle, Luke didn't REALLY say that, you're just trying to be funny." And while I may sometimes take minor liberties in my account of real life events, these quotes are 100% accurate:

"It's not go time when you think it is. If the water breaks you don't need to rush to the hospital because then you'll just be sitting there all day."
---Right, because all labors are exactly 24 hours in duration and there is no variation, and under no circumstances are children ever born in cars or on freeways with men driving cars at a leisurely pace while the wife screams at him to hurry up.

"If you're going to get an epidural, just do it. Don't try & do it natural and suffer through 4 hours of pain before finally giving up. Michelle made me go to all these kum-baya birth classes & we had to watch videos and practice mediation & all that crap, and after 3 hrs (with Jo) she was dropping f-bombs & demanding the epidural."
---Yes I did make Luke go through a natural child birth class when we were prego with Jo. But I held out for TWELVE hours, and only dropped 1 f-bomb. Baylor's birth was much quicker, and there were no f-bombs.

"They lose their sense of humor when they're in labor, but after the epidural you can pretty much say whatever you want."
----Ok, that one is accurate.

"Is she having any contractions? Oh good! Well that means you're getting close!"
---Yep. Totally true. If you're having contractions your child could arrive anywhere between 30 minutes from now and 6 months. I guess "CLOSE" is relative?

"You know the saying, 'Don't tell me about the labor pains, just show me the baby'? That seems like it would fit but it doesn't go over real well."

I really, really wish I could tell you how Luke described the female anatomy while the baby is being delivered, but I cannot. That would be entirely inappropriate, and way too graphic. Luke is so grossed out by this process that he sat in the chair at the head of the bed behind his mom, who faithfully held my hand and encouraged me while pushing. Luke is super unimpressed with the miracle of life.

random pics

2011-08-08T06:28:00.001-07:00

a few pictures:
Jo's "goodnight" pic from last night. Daddy's don't know about clips for bangs very well, nor do they observe mommy-instituted bed times!

I picked out the outfit, but DADDY picked out/allowed the shoes- hot pink fur lined mules...naturally

Baylor & I at his birthday party:

baylor's visit to the hospital

2011-08-07T22:18:00.000-07:00

Saturday we were at a brunch & noticed Baylor was BLUE! I jumped up to grab him, laid him down on his back, and he started to get color back in his face very quickly. He was VERY blue- not just blue lips, but blue HEAD. Super scary, but thankfully he pinkened right up & showed no other signs of distress. We hopped in the car & took him straight to Emanuel.

The short story is this: Baylor seems to be doing fine. It could have been the position he was in or a virus in his chest, or any host of other fluke to scary reasons. It has not happened again, but because his chest xray indicated he may be fighting a virus & the fact that his oxygen levels were getting kind of low, we're here for a second night.

So Baylor is getting his due pomp & circumstance upon entry into this world, and Jo is getting some serious Daddy time:

BAYLOR is HERE!

2011-08-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

I cannot describe this feeling of contentment!

I woke up at 12:30 this morning & decided I had either lost control of all bodily functions or my water broke. Of course there was no sleeping after that, so I got up, showered, made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, coffee, worked for a little bit & then woke up Luke & called in reinforcements around 4am.

The cookies were divine. Since we're at the hospital 3 blocks from home Luke just left to go get me my cookies. And probably to get caught up on whatever breaking ESPN news has occurred in the last 12 hours :)

Sara & Lexee arrived on the scene to stay with Jo, and Luke & I made the quick trip to the hospital.

I had a contraction in the ER lobby, which I'm sure provided all sorts of entertainment for the few people in there. Then we walked to the maternity wing, got checked in, and found out I was a whopping 3.5 cm into this process. No bueno. I requested the epidural, endeavored to be kind to the nurses, and thanks to a little vocalization (I get now why cats have annoying yowls and meows) got some sort of tide-me-over IV drug. It made me feel high as a kite, and took the edge off the contractions. Having had little to no experience with recreational iv narcotics (ok, NO experience), this was a rather interesting adventure. I got very tired and loopy. When Ash showed up, I had to talk to her with my eyes closed because I felt that tired.

And then the blessed epidural. Ah, thank you Lord for medical provisions. It really makes me appreciate my sis & m.i.l. all the more- both of whom labored with NO drugs. Man. They are tough mommas!

So- after the epidural we waited another 2 hours & then BAM! Time to push push push!

Jo required 3 hrs of pushing, this little kiddo evacuated in a quick 15, much to the delight of his momma- and his daddy, who elected to sit in a chair next to my head- as far away as humanly possible from the crime scene.

It was so cool- I got to take my slimy, squirmy, guck-covered baby in my arms and discover that he was in fact a HE--- so neat to be able to tell Luke, "you have a SON!" What a super amazing feeling- until I kissed him on his head & remembered he was indeed slimy, squirmy and guck-covered. Quickly remedied with a few towels though ;)

So we named this little guy Baylor, though not necessarily for the University. I heard the name originally in "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" and fell in love with the name & character years ago. It was one of the few names we could agree on, and was further accentuated by a "unique" middle name: Blitz. I should probably google that - it means something about when the defensive line rushes the offense unexpectedly on the football field. Or something like that. It is not a reference to beer, or as commonly suspected, "Blitzen" the reindeer. If you can believe this, "Blitz" was Luke's idea- not mine. But fine by me- it sounds just fine to me.

Stats: Baylor is 21 inches long, weighed 7 lbs 9 oz, and was born at 8:44 am. ON HIS DUE DATE.

Did you catch that? Both Jo & Baylor were born on their actual due dates. This brings me an unfathomable amount of self righteous pride and feelings of superiority. :)

Here's the before pic- right as we were leaving to the hospital this morning:

Here's the after:

And here's the one pic that landed on my camera today so far without me in it looking not so great or Baylor's little man parts which I prefer not to broadcast across the internet!

Unending Joy

2011-08-02T16:36:00.000-07:00

Luke is traumatized by screaming toddlers, so he really REALLY doesn't want to take jo to her swim lessons while I'm recovering from childbirth. My mother in law & dad are not put off by screaming toddlers, so they're going to tag team swim time. My dad hadn't been swimming with Jo before, so a few weeks ago we met at the pool to show him the ropes. There's a water slide there. People go down it with toddlers all the time. Here's how a normal adult takes a child down the water slide:

And then there's my dad- who took the slide like he was competing in an olympic luge event. He is laying flat on his back with legs and limbs in for reduced friction and maximum speed - all the while with poor traumatized jo on his tummy. Jo will never ask to go down the slide again. This video brings me unending joy- I laugh so hard I cry.

Jo got over it, obviously.

From 2011-07-23

The No Update Update

2011-07-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

1. Baby is not showing any signs of arriving. In fact, the baby is head down, but head facing the wrong direction. Google tells me this means labor is harder to start naturally (not enough pressure on the right spots), more likely to have water break without really being in labor (which happened with Jo), longer labor, longer pushing, etc. So I've got that going for me.

2. On the plus side, babies in this situation often turn face back when contractions do get going, plus if I spend a lot of time on all fours there is a chance the baby will flop into position. So I weeded my flower beds tonight, but I refuse to scrub floors, and when I am in this position Jo feels compelled to either jump on my back or crawl under me. And with this belly, there is a very low clearance which she finds an enjoyable and funny challenge. Humans are not meant to be on all fours, especially with a sagging sow back and humongous gut. It is not attractive, nor is it comfortable.

3. Wednesday I got a call from Luke who said, "This is the SECOND day in a row that I've poured a bowl of cereal with ANTS in it. Get an exterminator appointment TODAY." He was not happy. I started laughing, which didn't help his mood. So we're out 2 full boxes of cereal & $225. But I've got a six month warranty against ants which is worth it.

4. Speaking of Luke, I got a text from him last week that said this:
"Our toothpaste option is HORRIBLE. I refuse to live like this."
It was arm & hammer baking soda/whitening toothpaste, and he's right- it was horrible. We've since replaced it.

5. More on Luke: (and this was my f/b update today) My husband likes to tell me each day which times would work best for HIM for me to go into labor. Today, for example, it is advisable for me to wait until after 3pm.

6. I don't want it to seem like I'm dishonoring my husband by making fun of him. He puts up with a lot. He cleaned all my carpet/upholstery on Wednesday. He power washed our patio. He dances to Taylor Swift with his daughter. He doesn't complain when I bring her into bed even though he gets the business end of her lengthwise body, and bruised ribs to show for it. He grills dinner every night, and keeps the laundry going. And best of all? He tells me to go take a nap when I need one, which is often. Don't get me wrong- I know I'm a catch, but I'm pretty sure I got the better end of this deal.

7. We switched back to Direct TV today for the football season. Luke just found out that all the broncos games he dvr'd last season are still saved on our box. So tonight we get to take a trip down memory lane, reliving the highs & lows of the bronco's last season. That should explain why I'm working and blogging tonight.

8. If ever I glowed, that light bulb has long since burned out. I have never been so irritable in my life. I am starting to puff and swell.

9. My doctor said the longest she can let me go medically without inducing is 8/15. That served as no measure of comfort.

10. I forgot to pay my mortgage this month. I forgot to turn off the water the other day, which overflowed my pond. I forgot to turn off the water again tonight, which means we have a well soaked lawn. I lost my debit card today. I am losing my mind.

big & bigger

2011-07-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

34 weeks (last month): BIG

38 weeks (today): BIGGER

Random Updates So I don't Forget July 2011 Happened

2011-07-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

Work has been insane, and the thought of "wrapping up" is unfathomable with all that is left to be done. Still, I don't want to forget this month entirely, so here goes with the non-work related updates:

1. Jo wore a super cute outfit today, but will no longer hold still for any sort of photo. Much less smile!

2. About 8 months too late she finally digs her home-made Halloween costume.

3. We went to Kristen & Brian's wedding on Friday- it was beautiful!! For some reason I sobbed through the entire ceremony. Good grief- maybe it is the hormones? When Brian's Grandma read the excerpt from the Velveteen Rabbit I got into an particularly bad cycle of hold breath, release it in a puff, gasp, hold breath. And that is how snorts are made. The wedding was great- these two make quite the pair!

4. Baby is now in the GO position. I think. The kid is going nuts in there, and sometimes I think he/she is flipping all over. Dr says the baby shows no signs of arriving any time soon- which is FINE BY ME!!!

5. At the doctor's office (for whatever reason) the receptionist had Jo say "ice ice baby" one day & so then at last week's appt we practiced with Vanilla Ice en route. That tickled me to no end for about 24 hours. Now I'm over it & Johonna's toddler like endurance for mind numbing repetition is JUST setting in. I have to say- hearing her say "ice ice baby TOO cold" is adorable.

6. This was my facebook status Thursday night. It bears repeating:

I am going to coldstone. It required putting undergarments back on. THAT is how badly I want ice cream.

7. I need to take a belly picture soon- this belly is unreasonably big. Sometimes I marvel at it. If by chance I walk by my husband in the buff he laughs (which, by the way, is not the right thing to do in any circumstance or under any condition.) If I walk by a mirror in the buff, I laugh (which is fine- laughing at ones self is ok. Laughing at your pregnant wife or referring to her "blossoming belly" as a "GUT" is not ok.) When Jo & I go to swim lessons we both look like toddlers- waddling like t-rexs with butts & belly's sticking out. When I'm going to the grocery store, if it is in Milwaukie, I don't care so much if the underside of the belly is hanging out a little. I'm in good company- there's lots of people in Milwaukie whose underside hangs out a bit, and they're not even pregnant.

8. Luke does p90x at home, and when Jo & I are here she takes great delight in "working out" with him. When he does his arm pull things with the resistance bands she runs in circles around him squealing. If he's doing yoga stretches she practices her 3 legged dog too. If he's doing plyometrics she jumps around & tells him, "Good jumps Daddy!"

9. When Jo toots (sometimes at an astonishing volume for a 2 year old) she says, "excuse me." Which is what we've taught her to say. But it is really REALLY hard not to laugh. She's so non-challant about it, and while she'll soon discover the humor in bodily functions I don't want her to be embarrassed just yet. So I have to put on a straight face, but it is pretty funny.

10. Luke bbq's every night. Usually chicken & veggies- that's what he eats for lunch & often what we eat for dinner. But the other night he stopped at some kitschy market & came home with an assortment of ridiculously overpriced and outlandish meats:

-hen (which i'm pretty certain is another name for "$6/lb chicken"- but the name seemed so maternally fowl that I couldn't eat it.

-water buffalo. Again- pretty sure "buffalo" is the same as "water buffalo" but I did eat that & it was good. I ate it because they sell it at Fred Meyer too and that is main stream enough for me to justify eating it. I will not eat many meats sold at Winco, including but not limited to: pigs feet, chickens feet, pig snout, tongue (of any beast) or anything with the description "hocks."

-nasty nasty marinaded shrimp. Gag me.

-lamb. I wouldn't eat that on grounds "if we sing about the animal in a song to our daughter I will not eat it." That is not sound logic nor is it true. I eat a "moo moo here and a bok bok there" all the time- but it felt like a good reason at the time.

Bbbbaby update

2011-07-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

Baby update stats:
1) Baby is BREECH. boo. Dr will schedule a manual turn in 2 weeks if baby hasn't flipped, but based on ultrasound she thinks he/she is in great position to flip on its own, and encouraged me to push on my left side a little when I feel like the baby is trying to flip. Which I have been doing mercilessly. There are also some odd positions recommended (thank you google) to encourage baby to flip...so hopefully there are no hidden cameras in my house. It is not attractive.

2) Ultrasound provided further evidence of baby's gender, which my dr begged to tell me. But I held out. She did call the baby HE and SHE several times....AND raised the question of circumcision...so mabye a boy??? Or she's throwing me off the trail all together.

3) Baby's estimated weight=6.6 lbs. By my calculations my placenta must weigh 5 lbs as well as each boob. They don't offer that sort of statistic, but if I work backwards it is clear. You don't need a degree in medicine to figure it out- just a community college course in positive thinking :)

4) I am 1 cm dilated. Not bad for a breech baby. For a good time, grab a ruler (that's a "woowah" for you, jack) and check out how big 10 cm is. That should send chills down your spine.

5) To encourage early bonding, this baby is bringing Johonna some elmo pajamas and a birthday cake to share. It's a tight fit in there.

Jo Updates:
6) Johonna sang ICE ICE BABY TOO COLD to the doctor, receptionist, and nurse today. It was totally scripted- they think she is funny & we aim to please.

7) Jo pee-peed in the potty this week one time. She also took off a poopy diaper in her crib & finger painted. I'd like to think they cancel each other out, but poo-on-wall beats pee-in-potty everytime.

8) Jo is a swimming machine at swim lessons. She is even doing some face down front swimming!

9) Jo composed her first email this week, to Poppa. He claimed to know what she was saying, but it looked suspiciously like "32eeeeeeeewwwwwwooooe444444w22 2ssssssssssss" to me.

10) My sweet little girl played in her crib for nearly 3 hours tonight before falling asleep. You should hear that kid belt out TINKA TINKA YITTA STAAAAAHHHH. It makes me smile.

BIG NEWS: engagements all around!!!

2011-07-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Chris proposed to Rachel!!!! And she said: YES!!! This is so stinking cool- not only are the beautiful together, but they assemble a very nice little family. Congrats to Rachel & Chris- and Oliver & Kimberly- two middlebrooks engagements in a matter of a few weeks!!!

Patty is going to lose her mind. :)

my life in texts

2011-07-02T17:30:00.000-07:00

If you have an iphone you know that the message screen can be an interesting glimpse into your relationships. Here are some that are showing on my message screen - I'm not telling you who they are from/to, you just have to guess.

Let me know if you can make it. Nate is giving out free physicals...

A little boy took a bite out of her arm!

It's on like donkey kong.

Me too woot.

NOM NOM NOM

Picking the pink donut frosting off the nose prior to eating it.

Do you have vern's number?

Admittedly it's tempting...

pink for spring.

Did either of her dear uncles give Jo pop??? She's WIDE awake...

Don't show ANYONE but...

What are you thinking? Is this sexy gifts or registered wedding gifts?

In my defense, I just got done running.

Is that a pregnant thing or an over achiever move?

We fit in one moo-moo.

Poppa Song

2011-06-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

At some point Jo started requesting songs about people and as I'm always looking for an excuse to show off my vocal talent (*gag*), I've been happy to comply. It started out that she'd request a "Poppa song" where I have to make up a song about my dad. He's the number one request- followed closely by Hunter (her dog-uncle) and Finley (her baby cousin). Anyhow, I would like to say I've never been asked to sing a "mommy song"- so she gets those sometimes without requesting them.

Anyhow- after a nap with me this weekend I asked HER to sing a song. I got a mash up (that's for you patty/glee) of poppa-patty-ashley-sesame street-twinkle twinkle.

random pics

2011-06-25T18:12:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy at work that I've had no time for LIFE! Poor Jo, this will be the forgotten era of her life in terms of pics/videos! Here's some random ones from last few monhths!

Bad timing-

Katie & the girls were in town. Sav & Jo were obviously enjoying one another's company- like anyone else in this time of technology: side by side on their own iphones, texting each other instead of talking.

Kimmee was in town too from South Africa- we are so proud of her. She has dedicated her life to fighting injustice- working to prevent human trafficking.

30 ish weeks

2011-06-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

here's belly shot from last month. things have only gotten bigger since then...

KIMMEE IS GETTING HITCHED!

2011-06-25T18:06:00.000-07:00

Kimmee is getting hitched- she got engaged to a very sweet german boy, named Oliver. She is madly in love and I can't wait to meet this special guy. In the mean time, here's a pic of a very happy kimberly:

why it rocks to be a grown up

2011-05-31T21:17:00.001-07:00

A while back my nephews were playing a physically intense round of hide & seek tag. They asked me to join & I politely declined. They said, it must be boring to be a grown up b/c you never get to have any fun. I felt defensive of the funness of being a grown up & replied with these reasons it is more fun to be a grown up than a kid:

1. You know how your parents only by you pop on special occasions? I can fill up my ENTIRE FRIDGE with pop if I want.

2. Whenever I want I can drive to McDonalds & buy burgers & fries and ice cream.

3. If I want to, I can go into Toys R Us and buy ANY toy I want.

4. I can drive myself anywhere I want to go.

5. I get to see all the good movies.

6. I am the boss of me.

7. I get to be in charge of the remote control (which actually is a big lie...have you met luke?)

8. If I want popsicles for dinner I can have 'em.

9. I get to go on all the rides you're too short for.

10. I get to go to bed WHENEVER I WANT.

Is it like....?

2011-05-31T20:55:00.000-07:00

Today I had my skirt pulled up high (for comfort, not show. the waistband needed to go up over the bump instead of below it) & I looked like humpty dumpty. I walked by luke and he laughed and said, "I can't take you seriously." I know what he means- this baby seems so big and I have OVER TWO MONTHS TO GO! I told him some co-workers speculated this giant child must be a boy, because boys are often bigger than girls. Then I added, "but almost all second kids are bigger regardless of sex." He asked why & I explained, "because your body just knows what to do & stretches easier the second time around.

Then he said, "Like koi in a koi pond? They grow to the size of the pond?"

Yes honey. Just like that.

lions & gazelles

2011-05-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

Twice this week on the way to work I saw a car pulled over by a cop for speeding. EVERY time I see someone pulled over I have two thoughts:

a) I feel like cops are predators on the Serengeti & I am an innocent gazelle amongst my herd, travelling down the freeway unaware of the lions lurking in clever corners with radar guns.

b) Each time I pass someone getting a ticket I am thankful that this time I was not the weakest gazelle. I feel like I should throw five or ten bucks out the window to the weak gazelle to say, "thanks for taking one for the team. Because you're pulled over & the cop is distracted, he will not know I am going 65 in a 55."

Running with Luke

2011-05-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

This morning I ran 8 miles, the first five WITH LUKE!!! That's right. Non-runner luke busted out a five miler with maybe a total of 4 minutes walking during the entire thing. I told him we are like physical fitness ships passing in the night- he on his way towards peak physical shape & I on the slow decline towards swollen feet and heart burn. He ran like a champ but we had a few issues:

a) Luke did not know it was a poor choice to eat a bowl of cheerios pre-run. Two words: milk burps.

b) Luke did not know running is mother nature's way of pointing out where your skin touches. One word: chafing.

c) Luke did not know that when we need to consolidate to single file to let others pass, I move ahead & whoever else I am with moves behind. Two word: power struggle.

d) Luke did not know that he would look incredibly showey when he sprinted up the last 4 block hill at twice my speed. One word: braggart

e) Luke did not know that he would hear the story about the tortoise and the hare when after sprinting up the hill he had to walk a block while I maintained my [slow and steady] pace. Two words: Take That.

f) Luke did not know that I absolutely CANNOT and WILL NOT stop at "4.98 miles." Eight words: Laps around the front yard for .02 miles.

g) Luke did not know that I would feel somewhat threatened over his spontaneous and unrehearsed display of running prowess. So I left him at home after 5 miles & ran 3 more on my own. Two words: I Win.

pics of late

2011-05-26T20:51:00.001-07:00

Thanks to my photojournalistic sis, Patty, for documenting the moment's of my life ;)

Me & my blushing groom.

A better pic of the girls in their dresses- I love a confused Savannah in the background 29 weeks

Happy Bday MOM!

wedding dress party for kimmee's 23rd!

2011-05-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

Patty has the bridal hook up, so we all got 80's wedding dresses to wear to Kim's 23rd bday party. I am hoping someone got more pictures than what I have on my phone...this was the best costume party EVER!!!

I was the pregnant bride, Kimmee was ripped & torn bride, Rachel was madonna bride, Patty was princess ariel bride, Katie was princess catherine windsor bride, ash was pleated shoulder pad bride and melissa was tinkerbell bride!

Happy Bday Kimberly- We love you!

PS- We had every intention of going out in our get-ups, but around midnight we turned into pumpkins and left the ball.

Wonder what this is about...

2011-05-19T07:19:00.000-07:00

No explanation now, but details to be posted Sunday...

breaking news

2011-05-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

last night i posted this on facebook:
The mommy shortcut of sticking your hand down the back of a diaper to check for "dirtiness" is a-live-on-the-edge gamble. Tonight I rolled the dice and lost the farm.

tonight i bring you this improvement:
we had an official poopy in the potty!!!

she got a special poopy in the potty trick- a gummy vitamin. we are such tricky parents!

Jo's 2nd yr in photos

2011-05-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

I love this kid. I have no unique thoughts on the overwhelming love of a parent, so I'll leave at this: I didn't know my life was incomplete until I had her. Right now as I post this I'm laying in bed next to her. She's on the iphone, I'm on the computer. Dad's doing P90x in the living room, and I'm sipping coffee. These are the things that add up to happiness!

May 2010- turning one & introduced to chocolate frosting

June 2010- Save came for a visit with her new double stroller. Jo: "This is SO awesome!" Sav: "Calm down kid. You can ride in my new wheels, but don't ask to drive or anything."

July 2010: Crescent Lake, one of my favorite pictures of Jo

August 2010: Girl's trip to the beach

September 2010: Meeting cousin Finley for the first time!

October 2010: iphone pic of my baby sleeping

November 2010: Tired girl on thanksgiving won't give up her popcorn ball

December 2010: Jo assists us in announcing that she'll be a big sis. Her thoughts on the issue: "No comment at this time."

January 2011: Celebrating Sav's 2nd bday in the Phoenix sunshine:

February 2011: Jo now says (with a sarcastic toddler tone): "Marker face....BAAAAD choice!"

March 2011: With daddy after he won his judo match, saying "ew dad, you're wet."

April 2011: dozing with Aunt Lexee, her favorite person on the planet:

May 2011: Pumped for more cake and rocking pigtails that look more like hairplugs, but hey- growing hair is a genetic challenge inherited from her momma's side.

Second Birthday Party!

2011-05-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

Jo turned TWO last week. There were an insane amount of: people packed in our little house; hamburgers on the grill; and FUN. Here are the pics minus sappy reflections on my baby turning two (i'll post sap later):
Party attenders gave the trampoline 2 thumbs up:

Beautiful fmaily

Grandpa & his [rarely compliant] girl. Grandpa makes Jo special "eggies" which Mom cannot replicate on our own stove.

This guy manned the grill and sired the child. That's all men have to be responsible for.

Cousin Kevin & Christina. Editorial note- Take note of the crapped out yard in the background- it will look VASTLY different in 2 weeks. We've got plans. Also note this was the 5th take of this photo, and kev & christina couldn't pull it off w/o motion blur, but Rucker was steadfast in every pic. Good dog knows how to pose. Finally, the red bull in Kevin's hand was brought by himself, not served by me. But it does raise an interesting thought: red bull punch at a toddler's bday. That could be interesting...

The blasted bear. Uncle Buddy & Aunt Ash got this giant bear and kept threatening to give it to Jo. My house is 944 sq feet and this bear takes up 33%. And of course Jo loves it. It takes up my place on the couch & my spot in bed. It eats my share of the food and borrows my clothes without asking. The bear needs to go.

Bugging Thomas- the anticipation

and payoff

ICE CREAM CAAAAAAAAKE

Bday song:
Uncle Matt was a special in town guest for Jo's bday. She LOVED having him stay w/us b/c Unca Matt knows toddlers and gave Jo his undivided attention- well, with one eye on the draft at all times!

The Price is RIGHT

2011-05-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

Every time I reach up to slam down my car's hatch back, I envision myself spinning the big wheel on The Price is Right, hoping to land on the $1.00 spot for a chance at winning the showcase showdown (and instantly winning $1000 cash). The old ladies always needed some help from Bob to get the wheel to complete a full spin (less than full spin requires a re-spin), but when I slam my car trunk w/gusto I think, "I would not need Bob's help."

Obviously it is past my bed time, so good night.

For Grandparents

2011-04-27T20:12:00.000-07:00

Jo marching to her abc's- one only the grandparents will appreciate. ignore: her hair (it just came out of a pony tail) and her clothes (she was half dressed in pj's).

She thought no one was watching

2011-04-27T20:11:00.000-07:00

but I was.

Somebody's got JOKES

2011-04-27T20:06:00.002-07:00

I have no clue what my dad was saying in this series of pictures, but I know this much: dad+jack+cousin casey+audience (patty & aunt gail)=humor at jack's expense. But don't feel bad for him- every other equation = jack making jokes at someone else's expense.

I just love their expressions

a picture that summarizes every stephens family event: dad clarifying & jack denying but unable to keep a straight face

Dad making a final point, jack giving in, and casey commiserating at his cousin's defeat

a few more

I love this one of the group watching the pinata. Especially how they range from hilarity (patty) to concern (linda).

26 weeks

2011-04-27T20:06:00.001-07:00

and looking like a giant easter egg myself ;)

easter & julia's bday

2011-04-27T20:01:00.000-07:00

ugh- I got ZERO pics of the Hamilton Easter, which featured a highly competitive Easter egg hunt!
Stephens Easter & Julia's 6th bday:
One of her TWO easter wardrobe changes, brought to you by a generous & thoughtful AUNT AMANDA!

Pinata-- everyone's favorite Easter tradition (PS- whose idea was it to use a BAT?!)

Aunt Linda, who made bacon in the oven with BROWN SUGAR on it, which resulted in a chewy almost candy-like bacon that is making me hungry right this second

Happy 6th Birthday Julia!

Terry on "Women"

2011-04-22T21:50:00.001-07:00

Terry's all about healthy self esteem. Major themes in our conversation include: what others have said about him that is positive, what his doctor has said about him that is positive, and what his neighbors have said about him that is positive. I'm all for healthy self esteem, but I like to focus mostly on my own. He's the opposite. So we don't have a ton of common ground. When I talk, he says "uh-huh." And when he talks I say, "em-hm." The other day though curiousity got the best of me & I had to dig a little deeper...

Terry: Welp, everyone keeps asking me, "When you gonna settle down!?" And I just tell 'em, "I'm not!!!"
Me: em-hm.
pause
Me: Wait- what do you mean, "settle down?" (he's lived in the same place for about 20 yrs, he's not the wandering nomad sort, and he has no penchant for high risk/adrenaline sports. I'm not sure how much more settled the guy could be. In fact he spends a good deal of time sitting in a lawn chair in his drive way watching light residential traffic.)
Terry: Ya know, get a WOMAN.
Me: Oh right. A WOMAN. Why don't you want one?
Terry: CUZ! I'd rather save all my money!

Those women...they'll take the dollars from your wallet & the pennies from your pocket. Bleed you dry, they will.

23 weeks

2011-04-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

23 weeks pregnant:

This is the kind of pictures you try to stage when you're 23 weeks pregnant & you have a child:

This is the kind of pictures you tried to stage last time you were 23 weeks pregnant & you had a dog you treated like a child (who no longer gets the time of day in this house but does receive copious amounts of high chair discards):

BBQ

2011-04-11T21:14:00.000-07:00

We had my parents + some sibs over for steak Sunday. Patty couldn't make it b/c of work...but someone ate a steak on her behalf. Here's how it went down:
a)a little dancing

b) a little literature

c) a lot of couch sitting

Iphone Catch Up Pics

2011-04-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

My iphone pics rarely get blog facetime, so here it goes- all the moments captured on my phone instead of my camera:

1. Dad the baker. What you should know is that he is making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for my MOM at her request. He doesn't even like them (which didn't actually stop him from eating a few, but that's besides the point). He followed the recipe (a concept that my mom & I don't subscribe to, and then complain when "recipes" fail). He is using an COOKIE DOUGH SCOOP for perfectly rounded and evenly proportioned servings. Interestingly enough, they baked evenly...perhaps for that very reason.

2. David, Chris & Luke @ Chris & Rachel's joint-bday-party, Kennedy School. FYI, Luke & I are so old that we stopped to get coffee on the way there & were home & in bed by 10:30. Ouch.

3. How I find her almost every night as she unwinds- she dumps out all her books in a circle around her & reads to herself. ignore the muddy cat paw prints.

4. Jo & her "shexee" which is how she pronounces "Lexee." Lexee is her BFF and the best babysitter known to man. These two will have such a special relationship for the rest of their life!

5. Thank you Sarah for these colorful overalls, which are cute, but that Jo refuses to remove. She slept in them that night, though I was able to wrangle the rain boots and sunglasses off her.

6. Mommy had some serious work from home hours to log on Friday, which landed Jo some sesame street time. She loves elmo.

7. Aunt Amanda sent a TON of summer dresses to Jo, and Jo couldn't wait for sunshine (who can wait for something like that in OREGON!?) so she rocked the dress + cowboy boots + pigtails to church Sunday.

8. Chris (Ropp) wouldn't leave Costco w/o this bear, which he says he bought for Jo but really I think he bought it for himself. Here's Ashley with her new bear. Ridiculous and that thing is NOT setting foot in my house. It would take up 20% of our square footage.

9. Me & Cristina @ the start of the half marathon last week. how cute is she?

10. Jo's new thing is "outside" - she wants to be outside all the time. Here she is in a crazy gettup of pj's vest sunglasses & boots, mugging w/her daddy.

11. Porch swinging 2 poppa & grammy's

12. Luke fixing his grandma's toilet. Jack talked him through it over the phone, but Luke pulled through. Who knew I'd be surrounded by so many men who are good with toilets in my life?

13. I am not ashamed that I stood at the counter & ate girl scout thin mints + whipped cream for 15 minutes the other night. I took this pic to send to my sis Naomee to make her jealous. It worked.

14. Ryan Heath took this, this was literally taken the second the cashier told Luke it would be $35 for two adults to get into the Newport Aquarium. That's what I call maritime hustling.

15. Love this, also by Ryan.

16. Final Ryan Heath pic- these jelly fish were SO cool!

General Updates

2011-04-05T20:55:00.001-07:00

1. I got up in the middle of the night & upon returning to bed
Luke said to me: So what do we think?
Me: Huh?
Luke: What do we think?
Me: We think I had to go to the bathroom & get a drink of water.
Pause
Me: What do you mean "what do we think?"
Luke: I thought you were Charles Barkley.

That's fair. I can see how I could be mistaken for a 6'3" 300 lb black man.

2. I ran 13.1 miles Sunday in the Race for the Roses half marathon. I have to say- I wouldn't normally think that was a sane thing to do pregnant, but this girl at work is like 9 months prego & still running 10 miles every Saturday. So I've gotten all worked up and affronted by her bad-assness and feel like I don't want to be outdone. I ran it slower than last year, but only by 8 minutes! Not too shabby!

3. I am like a leap year gardner, meaning I'm only interested in gardening 1 year out of every 4. This isn't a good habit, but this year is an "on" year. Must be the nesting instinct taking over...the one that dissapears the second this baby arrives & I have zero time or interest in gardening again.

4. Baby #2 has popped big time. And here's how I know: I started the day w/my jeans buttoned, and ended the day with them unbuttoned. Then I transitioned to sweats & all is restored.

"TERRY"

2011-03-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

Meet "Terry." Terry is a special needs kinda guy who lives next door to us. He has a heart of gold, patience akin to Jo's, and ideas that exhaust me. Once a month when I head to Winco (dread) I take him with me so he can do his grocery shopping. Terry+cars do not mix, so he bums a ride. Here are some of my favorite stories about Terry...

1. Terry's bday is in June. Which means he starts scheming b-day plans in July. It isn't about him or gifts- it is all about the party, the number of guests, food, and entertainment. He likes to host it in his driveway, he likes there to be a big fat cake, he likes everyone in his world to attend, and he really worries about the prep. He sometimes tries to buy party food in May. He usually has some makeshift tarping/tents erected (in case of rain) about 4 days in advance. Two days ago he asked if I could help him rent a power washer so he can wash the mud off the driveway, 3 months prior to the party. While en route to the store I decided it was time to let him know I was pregnant. Here's how it went down:

Me: "Guess what Terry? We're having another baby!"
Terry: "Oh good."
Me: "It's due on August 3rd."
Terry, after a pause: "Oh! Then you'll still be able to come to my party!"

He then proceeded to inform me that this year's entertainment will be bingo. So naturally, I'm in.

2. Terry's got an awesome network of friends & support through his church. Terry doesn't mind asking for help and he doesn't mind offering it either. One of his friends gave him an answering machine, but perhaps didn't fully explain the concept. Here was Terry's message for a good 2 months: "Uh, HELLO? Uh...This is Terry. If you'd like to leave a message, give me a call."

3. Recently Terry's portable phone & answering machine died. I shopped for a new one for him, and a different neighbor helped him hook it up. Terry was thrilled to discover the concept of speaker phone. For 3 or 4 days when I called he'd say, "YEAH???" instead of "Hello" upon answering the phone. I finally asked him why he was answering his phone like that, and he explained that the new phone has this button you push- you don't even gotta pick up the phone! Which didn't quite explain the new phone answering etiquette...but whatever.

4. Terry is big big BIG on decorating for the holidays. Last fall in October I noticed he had Christmas lights strung. I asked him about it & he told me he didn't believe in Halloween so he was going straight to Christmas. He's worse than American retail.

5. Now this one is really unfortunate. But I can't complete this post without it. A few years ago Terry had a run of bad luck in the domestic pet department. His neighbor on the other side told Luke this:"I ran over Terry's cat. I feel terrible. I gave him my cat, to make him feel better. But my cat doesn't understand and she just keeps coming back in my house. (I know. A rather unorthodox response to killing someone's pet, and obviously not the smartest solution.) And worst of all, I really miss her and I feel like I want her back!" Luke suggested maybe she should just help Terry get a NEW cat.

So she did.

Now if I were a better story teller I'd have woven this little fact in somewhere in the text above. But I'm not, so take a mental time out and digest this: Terry doesn't have any teeth. He's got dentures that he refuses to wear, and for the most part, he speaks pretty well in spite of the missing teeth. But he can't say "V" - it comes out "B". Ok, resume reading.

Terry was really excited about his new cat. I asked him what he named it, and he said,
"Chebby."
"CHUBBY?" I asked (feeling a little defensive for the cat).
"No, CHEBBY!" he said.
"CHEBBY?" I clarified.
"NO!!! CHE-BBBEEEEYYYY. You know, like the CAR?"

Oh, right. CHEVY. To replace the previous cat who was hit by a car. The irony was not lost on me.

Cleaning Update

2011-03-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

I came home to an almost perfectly clean house Friday (thanks to the maid). Here's the reason for 'almost:'

In a related post...

FREE:
One cat who enjoys long walks in mud followed by long winding strolls through every clean surface in the house.

Outsourcing

2011-03-24T18:19:00.000-07:00

At 30 years old there aren't many "firsts" I've got left ahead. At least not good ones. No more first kisses, no more first babies, no more first houses or first cars or first trips to Hawaii. We're talking more like: first gray hair (check), first time dropping a kiddo off at school (sniff), first fight with a teenage child (no thanks), etc. Now really, I feel like "the best is ready to begin" (ten points if you know what theme song that's from), so don't get me wrong. I'm just setting the stage for a big first that happens tomorrow:

Between 11:30 and noon, two women will knock on my door, come into my house, and clean it top to bottom.

Somehow I feel like I have to confess this, like there's something pretentious about having a maid. My running girls (all working, independent women & momma's) and I talk about it carefully- like we have to explain our rationale: "I just have more important things to do! It is worth $50 every two weeks to not have to worry about dusting my baseboards- I work full time, I have a lot going on, I have a career- I can afford this, and I deserve it. I'd rather spend time playing with my kid than rushing around after work trying to clean toilets when my child is trying to get my attention."

It reminds me of a teacher in high school who explained outsourcing in this way: If Michael Jordan makes an average of $500/hr, and mows his own lawn when he could be paying $10/hr to have it done, he is actually LOSING money by doing it himself. I'm not exactly MJ but the concept makes sense. Still it feels like I'm committing housewife sacrilege: like I'm making mashed potatoes out of a box. Which is something I abhor, but have actually done about 3 times in my life...and vow to never do again.

This is not a commitment. I'm not signing up for regular service. I got a steal of a deal on living social (2 cleaning ladies, 3-4 hrs, $70). I would practically have been throwing money away NOT to buy it. So we'll see how it goes.

So Mom: If I get fake nails, a spray tan, buy a mercedes or have enhancement surgery you can worry. Don't worry yet.

Daily Affirmation

2011-03-22T14:31:00.000-07:00

I called Famous Dave's restaurant to place a to-go order. This was what the woman said when she answered the phone:

"Thank you for calling Famous Dave's!

This is Famous Jill!

How can I help you make your day Famous?!"

=

I am SO thankful for my job.

FOOD.

2011-03-18T19:40:00.000-07:00

Up until last week, when my dog park pals invited me to dinner at the Delta Cafe on Woodstock, I'd been eating fruits, vegetables, lean meat, and whole wheat complex carbohydrates. Just teasing. They lured me with their fabulous company and promises of deep fried food --- and they vowed not to let me pay. So Tammy, thanks for dinner. It was amazing- I can't believe I've lived within 5 miles of this place for so long & never eaten there! I had fried chicken, tater tot casserole, and mac & cheese. YUM.

Tammy, Tony & Les were great entertainment. I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard! As we were leaving I talked them into getting ice cream. I told them the last time I went out for ice cream I made the mistake of ordering first. I was with my running girls. I thought we had an unspoken agreement about gorging together since we run so stinking far together. I was wrong- after I ordered a dbl scoop waffle cone I turned around to find them daintily eating mini scoops with teaspoons. Tammy, Tony & Leslie were no better. Tammy turned down ice cream all together, tony skipped the cone, and les actually told the kid: that's enough ice cream. I left with a dbl scoop waffle cone. I'm pregnant, you know.

After dinner Leslie gave me a jar of her home canned pickles. Full of fried chicken & ice cream, I mustered the will power to save the pickles for the next day. They were amazing. I'm canning with her this summer. The pickles were gone in 24 hrs.Chevy's hot sauce. It says it's HOT, but the first ingredient is actually mangoes. There's a bottle on every table. Between my mom, ash & I we ate almost a full bottle last time we were there. The great news is they'll sell it to you if you ask.

The best I saved for last. Saturday night I left my friend Amy's baby shower feeling like I needed a little something. I'd been wanting to try Potato Champion
since I found out they have poutine. POUTINE is a food delight credited to the Canadians. It's fries + gravy + cheese curds. And it is AMAZING. My only complaint was that the cheese was not quite as melty as I'd have liked. I was able to power through it though

Side View

2011-03-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

This is a nice side view of my baby:

This one makes me nervous. Where's this top lip coming from?

Oh wait. Kinda reminds me of a little-big lip that made us nervous 2.5 yrs ago:

But she turned out ok

So I won't worry :)

Baby Dos

2011-03-18T18:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had my 20 week ultrasound. Luke, the baby's father (in case there was any question), missed the ultrasound. He claimed to be stuck across town in Beaverton traffic...clearly suspicious as I've never heard of traffic out there. Anyhow, the tech took some pics. Luke is dead set on NOT finding out the sex, but I want to know. So I had the tech write down the gender & put it in an envelope. Which Luke forcefully confiscated and has hidden somewhere. It's driving me nuts. I thought he'd cave for sure, but he remains a pillar of strength.
Here's the foot of my baby:

Here's the arm & profile of my baby:

Here's the gender of our baby: